The Man Next Door
by allthingstvyo
Summary: AU - Actress Meredith Grey moves to LA with her boyfriend Finn Dandridge, settling into a house next door to her soon to be Co-Star Derek Shepherd on a show called Pompeo's Anatomy. With the stress of the job, their families and the media, will love be enough to bring them together?
1. Chapter 1

Birds were chirping outside and she could feel the slight warmth of the sun on her face through her window. This was her favorite part of the day, where just for a moment, she forgot everything. She forgot who she was, forgot all her worries, her boyfriend issues and her unemployment dramas, and now her new living arrangements. As she began to drift into consciousness she remembered her old life in Miami, bar tending and cocktail waitressing. It was definitely more stable than the career she was leading now. At least she knew her job could last a few years. Instead, now, she was constantly looking for work. Once one project was done she would have to move onto another, never knowing whether or not she would get the role.

BRRRRRR! the loud sound of a lawn mower snapped her away from her thoughts. 'Urrgggg' she thought, turning to look at her watch, 7:00am. She welcomed the rare days she could sleep in and the loud sound was making it difficult. Annoyed, she got out of bed throwing on her dressing gown and kissing her boyfriend on the cheek before heading to the front lawn.

Her boyfriend could sleep through anything. If there was an earthquake or tornado she was sure he would miss out on the entire thing. She liked him, a lot, he was always a good friend to her. Everything was simple and easy with him but she always felt like she was missing something. They had been together for five years and he still couldn't understand her, or comprehend the subtle messages she'd send to him in public when she was uncomfortable or wanted to leave. Instead, he would do the exact opposite stating later that, "Oh but honey, you looked like you were having a great time?" She was an actress! Of course she could look like she was having a great time! But she stayed with him because he did treat her right. He always did the right thing and listened to what she wanted him to do. He would never push her, he would just do the 'bare minimum'. But she was fine with it, at least she had someone.

Opening the door to her new, still unfurnished home, she treaded through the grass to the fence separating her house from her neighbors. She hadn't met anyone in the neighborhood yet. Their plane had landed in Los Angeles at night the day before and they were both so tired, they went straight to sleep.

"Excuse me!" she screamed, trying to get her neighbors attention. He was average height with perfect raven locks that gleamed in the sunlight. He was wearing a tight grey, V-neck singlet that highlighted his strong, muscularly arms and flat, hard stomach. She was stunned for a moment, trying to register his good looks. The motor stopping brought her back to reality as he turned to look at her.

"Hi, sorry, were you talking to me?" he asked as he ran his fingers through his hair and wiped sweat from his brow.

"umm, yes, ummm" She was awe struck. He was just so, so….she couldn't even think of how to describe him. His eyes were a beautiful pool of welcoming warm blue and his smile went straight to them, drawing her in.

"haha, let me guess, my lawn mowing was annoying you?" he laughed, pulling her out of her trance.

With a small shake of her head to clear it she stated, "oh, yes. Yes, I just moved in and didn't get much sleep last night and was going to ask if you could wait until later to do that because it's really loud and really early and I'm sure everyone else would also appreciate it if you waited until a more reasonable hour."

With that she began to turn away, cursing at herself because of how much she probably came across as a fussy, woman. Which she wasn't, she was just a woman who tended to not make the greatest decisions in the morning and valued her sleep in days.

"Sorry, I'll wait until later!" he shouted out to her as she hurried back towards her house. "I'm Derek Shepherd by the way!"

"Meredith Grey! And thanks!" she yelled back before closing the front door and sliding down it to her knees. It only took that one minute, sort of conversation for Meredith to know…she had a crush on her neighbor.


	2. Chapter 2

It was 6pm on her second night in Los Angeles and Meredith was exhausted. The moving truck had arrived with some of the furniture from her old house and she, with the drivers, spent the entire day moving furniture into different rooms. She was hot, tired, her arms were shaking from carrying items that were too heavy and all she wanted to do was sit down with a nice meal and relax. The only problem was, they had run out of food. The little they had left over from their travels had been eaten for breakfast and Meredith was in no mood to travel to the shops. She just had to wait until her boyfriend Finn got home, who had spent the day at his new job. He was a music producer and his new company was eager to get him started as soon as possible. Meredith couldn't help but be somewhat jealous of her boyfriend, he got to sit around talking to people and she was stuck dragging furniture from room to room. She looked towards the pile of mail which had been re-directed from her home in Miami, flicking through until she came to the pilot scripts for upcoming television shows. Sighing she opened the first one and began to read. "Compilations" it was called. About a surgical intern Ellen Pompeo who slept with her boss Patrick Dempsey the night before she began her new job. She began to really enjoy this script. It captivated her and she liked the idea of having a multicultural cast…'Ding Dong' her door bell chimed, interrupting her thoughts. Confused, Meredith looked up from her script. She didn't know anyone in the neighborhood and Finn wouldn't ring the doorbell to his own house. Heading towards the entrance, she could see perfectly styled black hair through the small window at the top of the door. 'great, he's probably come to check out the neighborhood weirdo that couldn't handle a little noise' she thought to herself. Upon opening the door she was greeted with the most breathtaking smile. His eyes just as blue and welcoming as before, she again fell into a small trance at the sight of him.

"Hi, Meredith was it? My wife and I throughout we'd welcome you to the neighborhood with a home cooked meal." He said with a smile.

Wife. That one word for some reason brought Meredith's world crushing down. Of course someone that handsome would be taken! 'Wait, what are you thinking Meredith?' you have a boyfriend' she thought. Yet, despite her best efforts, she still couldn't seem to shake the feeling of disappointment that he was married.

"Oh! Thank you so much, that's so kind of you! We actually just ran out of food this morning and…wait, where's the food?" she asked, confused as he was standing on her front porch, empty-handed.

"Oh, my wife's just taking it out of the oven now. I thought I would just come a little earlier to apologize for the other morning with the noise. I did realize it was early but I wanted to get the mowing done before it got too hot you know?"

"Oh no, you don't have to do that. I was the one that was out of line, I mean, it's just a bit of noise right? I just have a short temper in the mornings…I'm still working on that, so don't listen to me next time if it's early!" she responded, trying to laugh it off.

"Oh, you weren't the only one who complained it's all good. My daughter was apparently trying to get my attention to stop for a while so don't worry" he added

At the sound of the word daughter Meredith lost the little hope she didn't even know she was holding onto. This was ridiculous, she had a loving boyfriend and yet, she couldn't get over this man she had met twice.

"Good, because I was worried I was looking like an old woman who couldn't deal with a little bit of noise!"

"Trust me, you don't look a day over 25. And don't worry, I never pegged you for that type."

"Oh, and what type did you peg me for Mr…?"

"Shepherd"

"Right, yes, Shepherd"

"Well, judging from your appearance you look like you take after yourself. Maybe a late afternoon jogger? Or yoga? Ummm, from your accent I'm going to assume you're from up north somewhere, maybe Boston which is refreshing because I miss the Boston accent…And due to what is clearly a lack of make up I'm gonna assume you value natural beauty. Which, might I add, you are, a natural beauty" he finished with a wink and a smile.

Meredith could feel her cheeks heat up like someone had just turned on central heating in her body. He was flirting. He called her beautiful. He had a wife, yet he was flirting. Before Meredith could respond she saw a tall, beautiful blonde lady walking up the pathway towards her house holding a large tray.

"Ah, here comes Rose now." Derek stated. She had a cake face of make up and she was wearing what looked like designer clothing with perfectly styled hair, in comparison to Meredith's casual clothing and natural curls made slightly messy from moving furniture all day.

"Hi, I'm Rose. Welcome to the neighborhood." She said smiling to her and then her husband. Meredith could sense something off about her smile. She looked at Derek a way Meredith knew all too well. It was her 'can we make this quick so we can go soon?' look she would give to her husband all the time. However, Derek didn't seen to notice as he took the tray from her arms and handed it to Meredith.

"I hope you like lasagna. This is my wife's recipe, which isn't as good as mine though she doesn't seem to think so," he chuckled.

"I love lasagna, I'm half Italian so my Nonna would probably be rolling around in her grave if I didn't. You cook?" Meredith asked impressed. Finn couldn't even make toast and would always complain about how a woman's place was in the kitchen, which annoyed her to no end.

"Yes, I know how to cook a dish or two"

"Oh what are you talking about Derek? You try and take over cooking all the time!" Rose intervened. "He's always trying to make my day easier" she added to Meredith.

Her heart skipped a beat. This man was perfect. "Wow, well I'd like to see that some time. My boyfriend won't step into a kitchen!"

"That's terrible!" Derek responded, a little shocked. "Well maybe tomorrow you can come over to our place for dinner, if you don't mind macaroni and cheese as of my daughters request I might add" Derek offered, just as Rose subtly yet strongly elbowed him in the arm "hey!" he complained.

"Dear, you're forgetting we have that thing tomorrow" she said through clenched teeth.

"We don't have a thing," he dismissed her, "so how about it Meredith?" he asked. She almost sensed a hopeful tone in his voice, as if he really wanted her to come and would be disappointed if she didn't. But she did. Her heat rate involuntarily increased at the chance of seeing him again, and to have him offer to cook for her. No man had ever done that.

"I'll have to check with my boyfriend but that sounds perfect! I could NEVER say no to…"

"What can't you say no to my love?" Meredith jumped out of her skin as she heard her boyfriends voice coming from behind Derek. She had been focusing so much on him that she didn't even hear him walking up the steps.

"Oh, um Derek, Rose this is my boyfriend Finn," he smiled to them and she turned to him continuing, "Finn, Derek was just asking us if we wanted to come over to their place for dinner tomorrow, and they brought us some lasagna for tonight" Meredith said with a smile directed at Derek.

"That sounds great. I could never say no to a free home cooked meal. Come on babe, I want to tell you all about my day" he said quickly, pushing past Derek to get inside. He grabbed the plate from her hands and with a quick grunt of thanks he headed into the kitchen.

"He's a little tired." Meredith apologized for him, "But I guess I will see you guys tomorrow. It was so nice to meet you." she smiled reaching out to shake Rose's hand.

"oh!" she gasped as she shook Derek's hand. A jolt of electricity radiated from the touch all through her body. It was as if, at that moment, the universe was trying to tell them something.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Guys! Here is Chapter 3! I hope you've been enjoying the story so far and have noticed the real life parallels to the charters! lol**

**In this update, you get to see a bit of Patr...I mean Derek's persepective**

The next day while Meredith was continuing to un pack boxes she couldn't help but sneak peeks at her neighbor's house, well, not the house, the man that lived in the house, who Meredith swore she recognized him from somewhere. Every now and again she would stand at the window in her bedroom upstairs and look down into Derek's back yard. He had a beautiful pool situated nearly directly underneath her window. Shimmers of light bounced off the surface of the clear water as Derek's daughter created small waves as she swam around the pool on her boogie board. The pool was surround by sandstone tiles with pool chairs, a table and pot plants surrounding it. Derek lay across one of the chairs, his delicious muscular chest and abs on display above his green board shorts. He was laughing and joking around with his daughter and Meredith couldn't help but wish she could join them. She had never been one to want children, never thought about names when growing up and just never imagined herself as a mother. But lately, she begun to think that it was something that she would regret if she didn't have a baby. She hadn't discussed it with Finn yet but for some reason, the thought of having a child with him turned her off the idea. She did like him a lot, but, ever since moving to LA she continued to find herself questioning him and their relationship. It was only two days in and already he was beginning to focus more on the job instead of her. Sighing she continued to look out the window only to quickly turn away when she noticed him looking up at her…

* * *

Derek loved his daughter. Tallulah was a beautiful girl, she was adorable and always listen to what he had to say. She was a daddy's girl. He was having the time of his life sitting by the pool, just watching her swim around on her boogie board, pretending to be a surfer. He shook his head, thinking about how Rose was missing out on their child's life. She worked at a make up and Beauty Company and she had recently been asked to create her own make up line. For weeks now she had been going to work early and coming home late doing whatever it was that she did. Derek didn't really pay too much attention when she explained what she was doing. He didn't particularly like it when women wore too much make up and were too absorbed in their looks. That was probably why he was so hung up on his neighbor. She had a natural beauty that was really refreshing and he just couldn't seen to get her out of his mind. Looking up towards her house he saw her there, standing at the window watching them. His heart skipped a beat, she had a 'longing look', like she wanted to be down here with them. 'No, impossible' he thought. They had only met twice. Their eyes locked for almost a second when she noticed him looking at her. He couldn't get over their beauty. Even from this distance he could see the flicker of green in them and then, she was gone. He laughed, he probably wasn't supposed to catch her looking at him.

* * *

It was nearly 6pm and Meredith realized they had never organized a time to meet for dinner. Finn was still not home from work yet and she was really hungry. Actually, she was starving. Ever since Derek had caught her staring out the window she had worked non stop unpacking boxes to get her mind off how embarrassed she felt, essentially forgetting to eat. Looking into her kitchen she realized she still had his lasagna plate from last night. 'Great' she thought. 'Now I'm gonna be like one of those characters in Desperate Housewives that uses cooking items as an excuse to talk to someone'. But, she was actually finding herself eager to see him again. So, shrugging it off she took the plate and headed over to the house next door.

* * *

It was nearly 6pm when Derek decided to begin cooking dinner. He had no idea when Meredith was going to come, realizing he had forgotten to specify a time.

"Daddy, Daddy, what are you making for dinner?" Tallulah asked with excitement running up towards him.

"Your favourite meal for my favourite girl" he responded with a smile, picking her up and twirling her around in the air

"ha ha, yay! Mac and Cheese! Ha ha ha" she giggled and he carried her. He loved hearing his daughter's laugh. It was his favourite sound in the world. Although, there was another sound that was fast becoming another favourite, Meredith's laugh. He had only heard it a little the day before when he had found himself flirting with her, but it was enough to stick in his mind.

"Put me down daddy and start dinner" Tallulah ordered "I'm hungry"

"Ok, ok. But make sure you behave at dinner ok? Our new neighbors are coming over"

"Yay! New people to play with!" Tallulah exclaimed in joy.

"Honey, I don't think they're your age" Derek sighed. He was always worried that Tallulah didn't know enough children her age and they had discussed having another child but Patrick wanted to get his career back on track again. He had peaked too early, as his agent said, having had landed a the main role in the 1987 movie Can't Buy Me Love only to have his career slow a few years after. That was when he met his wife Rose at her hair salon. He had taken an immediate interest in her and at the time, he thought it was love. But now he was questioning his feelings. She was a different person now and he couldn't help but start to notice other women. In particular, his new neighbor.

'Ding Dong' the doorbell chimed.

"They're here Daddy, they're here!" Tallulah screamed with excitement as she ran towards the front door, Derek quickly following while his heart began to slightly race faster.

"Hi," he smiled as he opened the door to see Meredith, there, alone.

"Hey. Sorry if I'm a bit early, I wasn't sure when to come and I thought you may need your plate tonight so, yeah…oh and it's looking like Finn won't make it, they asked him to stay back at work." She said with a hint of a smile she was trying to hide.

To Derek's surprise he rejoiced at this news! She was so adorable, standing there in front of him. She was petite and her face had both a soft yet fiery quality. Gesturing for her to come inside he said, "I actually just started dinner so if you're alright to wait a couple of minutes it should be ready soon. And thanks for bringing back the plate."

"Daddy" Tallulah said while pulling at his shirt

"Ha ha" he laughed as he picked her up. "Meredith this is my daughter Tallulah, Tallulah, this is Meredith, our new neighbor"

"It's nice to meet you Tallulah," Meredith said with a smile. "I like your dress, it's very pretty" she added and Tallulah blushed. She as wearing a pink polka dot dress Derek had bought for her on one of their 'father daughter bonding' days and it was her favourite.

"Did you hear that Daddy? The pretty lady next door likes my dress!" she exclaimed happily to Derek.

They both laughed at her comment as he led them into the dining room. It was a big open space with a high ceiling and a glass wall looking over to the pool area in the backyard.

"Oh your house is amazing!" Meredith exclaimed.

"It was all my wife, she went crazy decorating it when we moved in. Didn't even let me get a word in edgewise."

"Well she has good taste I'll give her that" Meredith commented as Derek put Tallulah down from his arms.

"Meredith, Meredith come see my room! It's even cooler than this one. It's pink!" she exclaimed excitement evident in her voice as she pulled her hand leading her up stairs.

"Oh" she exclaimed surprised looking over at Derek. He laughed and gestured for her to follow Tallulah while he finished with dinner. He had never seen her take such a liking to an adult before, apart from him. Ever since Rose had been working so much she had grown apart from Tallulah so she never really got to interact with other girls. Smiling he went back to cooking. He wasn't one to normally let strangers be with his kids alone but Meredith was different. He just seemed to have complete and utter faith in her.

**Review, Review, Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Ellen woke up the next day feeling complexly and totally relaxed and happy. She hadn't felt this way in a long time. It was as if she was back in high school when she spoke to the guy she had a crush on for the first time. But it was weird. She didn't have a crush on Derek, did she? Her mind was telling her no, yet heart was telling her go…

* * *

_Derek had set the table with tall white candles in the middle of the rectangular space covered by a beautiful, intricate lace tablecloth. He had even folded the napkins into cute flower shapes. The man was perfection. If Tallulah hadn't been there, it would have been the setting for a perfect date. _

_"So, I just got a call from my wife. Turns out they've asked her to stay back late at work today. Something to do with allergic reactions or something" he stated casually as he put the Mac and Cheese down in front of Meredith and his daughter. _

_"Oh no! that's terrible! What does she do? Is she a doctor or whatever?"_

_"Ha! I wish. No, she's a makeup artist and they've asked her to create her own make up line." Patrick said, rolling his eyes._

_"haha, you don't approve of her job?" Meredith chuckled_

_"You have no idea…but lets not talk about her, tell me about yourself" he said, trying to change the subject. She was such a mystery to him and he found himself wanting to know everything about her. She had a hypnotizing quality and Derek just couldn't resist. _

_"Well, you were right the other day, I am from Boston, born and raised," she said proudly. _

_"I knew it! As soon as I heard your accent it's like I went back home. It was so refreshing, I miss it"_

_"Where are you from?"_

_"I grew up in Maine. I love it there, the country side is so much more relaxing. When I retire, I'm moving back and this little one can take care of the animals on the farm like she's always wanted to" he said, playfully messing Tallulah's hear up on the top of her head._

_"Yes! I can't wait daddy retire now! Retire now!" she shouted, jumping up and down in her seat._

_"Not yet precious, daddy needs to make a lot more money so we can live" he chuckled, happy with his daughter's enthusiasm about the topic. He sighed slightly thinking about Rose. She was such a city women, and tried every chance she got to talk him out of this idea. "My, my young lady! Where did all your dinner go?"_

_"I ate it daddy! More?" Tallulah asked, giving him big blue puppy dog eyes, just like his. _

_"I think you've had enough little lady. Now go get ready for bed" he said, gently kissing her on the forehead before she headed upstairs. _

_"She's adorable Derek" Meredith commented when Tallulah was out of sight._

_"Isn't she? She's the one thing I did right in my life. I've made a lot of mistakes that I regret terribly but Tallulah, I wouldn't ever regret."_

_"Ohhh getting all into the deep dark feelings are we" Meredith commented, trying to make light of the conversation that had suddenly changed tone._

_"haha, shut up" he chuckled while elbowing her in the arm playfully. Again. That simple touch sent shivers down her spine. They both paused for a second, looking into each others eyes as the sexual tension between them began to inflame. His beautiful blue eyes hypnotized her again and she forgot where she was, hell she forgot who she was. There was just him. She didn't even realize they had began to lean into each other until his lips were just and inch from hers…_

_"Daddy! I'm going to bed now" Tallulah screamed as she thumped down the stairs to say goodnight to Derek. _

_It was enough to shock both of them out of their revere. They both quickly pulled away from each other and Derek walked over to Tallulah, giving her a big bear hug. Meredith watched in awe, the dynamic between Derek and his daughter was fast changing her mind about the thought of kids, and a family. _

_"Goodnight Meredith" Tallulah exclaimed while running over to her for a hug. Surprised at the gesture by the small child she gasped but hugged her back, smiling. When she left the room once again she turned back to Derek, and the talked. About nothing in particular, they didn't learn much about each others lives just their likes, dislikes and views on the world…it was the most interesting conversation Meredith had had in a long time and she just wanted it to go on forever. _

* * *

'BEEP, BEEP. BEEP' Her alarm clock snapped her away from her memories of the night before, bringing her back to reality. Today was the day she was going to audition for the role of Ellen Pompeo a surgical intern working at a hospital in Seattle. It had been a while since her last acting role but she was confident. She was impressed with the writing and liked the sound of her character. Looking to the other side of the bed she noticed Finn had left the house already. She sighed. Ever since the move she had only gotten glimpses of him late at night when he got home from work. Shrugging it off she got ready and headed to her car…

* * *

As Derek drove out of his house the next morning he found himself driving behind his new neighbor whom had left at the same time as him. As he drove, he thought about the previous night smiling to himself. It was the first interesting conversation he had had with a woman in a long time. His wife was normally never home and when she was, she was sleeping or they fought over Tallulah. Rose was adamant on making Tallulah into a protégé of her, trying to get her to do girly things. But, she always preferred to go to the park or ride her bike with Derek. Sighing he turned into the driveway of Prospect Studios noticing that Meredith was parking inside too. Was she auditioning for a TV show too?


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Grey's Anatomy dialogue that is mentioned within this text. All credit goes to Shonda Rhimes and the writers of Grey's Anatomy.**

**Hi! I hope you like this update. I saw some of your reviews and I fixed the little name problem in my previous updates...whoops!**

As Meredith walked into the stage door for her audition she was greeted by the shows creator Shannon Rhymes and the producer Betty Beerley. Shannon looked at Meredith with a satisfied smile on her face while Betty smiled warmly and invited her to sit down with them.

"Meredith, we are so pleased to have you here" Betty said when they were seated.

"Thank you, but the pleasure is all mine. I've read through the script and I'm very impressed with the writing and the characters. I really look forward to hopefully playing Ellen, she seems like quite a character." Meredith stated warmly trying to keep a composed and calm appearance on the outside. But on the inside, her heart was pounding. This was the first major role she was auditioning for and she didn't want to screw it up.

"Well we're really excited to hear that Meredith. Now if you could turn to the first scene and start reading out your lines with me we'll get started." Shannon replied. The girl had not spoken more than two sentences to her and she was already sure of her decision. But Meredith didn't need to know that yet so she ushered her to begin acting out her lines.

"The game. A person either has what it takes to play, or they don't. My mother was, one of the greats. Me on the other hand, I'm, kinda screwed" Meredith began, stepping into her character. Whenever she would act she was able to step out of her world, step out of reality and really become another person. She always found it refreshing to have that sort of escape from reality….

As soon as Meredith finished reading her lines Shannon and Betty looked at one another, nodded and stood from their seats. Meredith followed, 'Crap, they're kicking me out. Of course this has to happen to me!' she thought to herself.

"Thank you so much Meredith. Now if you could please go back outside in the waiting room we have a few things to discuss. We'll be with you shortly." Betty said with a smile.

'Well, they didn't say no, but they didn't say yes either,' Meredith thought to herself.

* * *

Derek began to follow Meredith through the pathways around the lot curiously. She hadn't seen him yet and he was just about to call out to her when he felt a tap on the shoulder.

"Excuse me sir but are you here for the audition of Dr Patrick Dempsey, neurosurgeon?"

"Umm, yes," Derek responded trying to see where Meredith had disappeared.

"Come with me please" he nodded leading Derek to another building with a sign stating that they had dedicated this to auditions for his character only. If you could take a seat Shannon and Betty will just be a moment. They're just auditioning the actress for your characters love interest, Dr. Pompeo."

Derek nodded and sat down running through his lines again. He as had mild dyslexia so it always was a bit of a struggle for him to remember lines. As a result, he went over them as much as he could.

After half an hour two women entered the room.

"Hi, I'm Shannon the creator of the show," the plump lady with chocolate skin said to him, while shaking his hand.

"And I'm the producer. Please come with us, we're excited to hear your audition. You're our last actor to see before we make our decision, with the help of your character's love interest of course!" said the tall, skinny blonde next to her smiling. At the sound of that Derek began to get a little nervous. What if he didn't have the chemistry with this other person? Trying to shrug it aside he began reading his lines. Throughout the whole audition Derek noticed Shannon stare at him strangely the whole time. He couldn't read it her expression, she just had a poker face on the whole time and he was getting slightly agitated. Betty on the other hand was very friendly, doing all the talking while Shannon just sat and stared. At the end of the audition he didn't think he had gotten the role. As he walked he was asked to stay back in the waiting room while they went to bring his possible costar in. Confused, he sat down. 'At least they didn't reject me, but they didn't say yes either' he thought to himself.

* * *

Meredith nervously tapped her foot on the floor as she sat in the waiting room. A million scenarios went through her mind as to why they would have asked her to wait. 'Maybe they just wanted to play with me, toy with my emotions and get my hopes up before they shatter them' she thought. 'Or, maybe they did like her, but just wanted to keep their options open incase someone better came along.' She was so busy brainstorming different options that she didn't even notice Shannon and Betty walk back into the room with smiles on their faces.

"Excuse me Meredith," Shannon interrupted. "We're happy to inform you that you have the part. We would love for you to play Dr. Ellen Pompeo."

Meredith's face lit up with a smile at the sound of the news. She felt relief was over her like a waterfall and excitement began to bubble inside her.

"Thank you so much!" she exclaimed, "This means the world, I am so excited to be a part of the show!"

"Well, if you would like to come with us we would like to test you with a few of our options for your love interest on the show Dr. Patrick Dempsey."

* * *

Derek's heart was pounding as he waited with three other actors who were up for the same role he was. He had never been asked to wait around after an audition before so he wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing. He hadn't had much luck with his acting jobs in the past but he was hoping this would be his big break. Shannon's lack of reaction towards him shattered those hopes however and he needed to know soon what was happening or he felt he'd spontaneously combust. Suddenly, the door opened in in walked both Shannon and Betty followed by…'wait…this couldn't be right?' he thought to himself…

* * *

When she saw him sitting there in the waiting room she couldn't help but smile. She felt a warmth rise up within her at the sight of him, so handsome, so beautiful, his perfectly styled black hair complementing those ocean blue eyes. He was a dream. Before they could say anything to each other she was interrupted by Shannon asking her to go straight into the audition room for the first of the four men to audition with her. Normally, they would choose the actors separately but this time, they wanted to have the best chemistry between the two characters as possible.

After going over the same scene with three of the different men, Shannon and Betty were 'not feeling it.' They all seemed like nice men who got along great with Meredith but they just didn't see any sparks flying between the two. Maybe they were being too fussy, but they wanted a generic connection between the two actors if they were going to be able to have perfect on-screen chemistry for the show. As their last actor Derek walked into the room it instantly began lighting up. The sparks flying between the two were instant. Leaning into Betty Shannon quietly whispered, "I think we found the one."

Beautiful smiles were instantly planted on each other's faces when Derek walked into the room. For a moment she forgot where she was and what they were doing here, her eyes were on him and him only. As he stood next to her and they began acting the scene out her heart began to flutter like it had the previous night at dinner when they almost kissed…

_"Stop looking at me like that!" _Meredith exclaimed, saying Dr, Pompeo's line.

_"Like what?" _Derek responded as Dr. Dempsey, giving her a dreamy look and leaning slightly towards her. It took her self control to snap herself back to reality and continue on with the scene.

_"Like you've seen me naked!" _She responded as he looked down at her and gave her a playful smirk. She momentarily lost all train of thought…

_"Doctor Dempsey, this is inappropriate. Did that ever occur to you?"_

When they finished with the scene both Shannon and Betty applauded them, certain that Derek was best of the role. They had never seen such instant chemistry between a pair before and they were excited to write more scenes for them. That is, if Meredith was happy to have Derek work with her, as after all, they did want her opinion because she did have to work with the man.

After having a little chat with the pair Shannon and Betty sent Derek away and sat Meredith down with them.

"So, Meredith, which of the fine young men you ran lines with would you prefer to work with?" Betty asked her nervously, hoping to god that she chose Derek. Even if she didn't, they would make her work with him anyway. Even if she didn't know it yet, they had great chemistry.

"Well…" she said nervously thinking over her choices. She definitely would like to work with Derek. She already kind of knew him and had a connection with him, and she definitely couldn't ignore the sparks that flew between them when they were together, despite the fact that they were both in relationships with other people. Her mind was telling her to choose one of the others. That would be the safe option. Yet, she couldn't imagine not working with Derek. Things had just clicked and he was man candy, way more so than the others. 'What the heck?' she thought, 'what's life if you don't take a few risks and leaps?'

Smiling she looked up at Shannon and Betty and said, "I want that Shepherd kid."

**Feel free to review! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Another Update! (sorry if you've been waiting a while) **

**This is just to get their relationship status (for the moment) straightened out and set up for something I have planned lol :)**

In the days leading up to the beginning of filming Meredith and Derek spent the majority of their free time together. Alternating between each others houses, the race track that Derek would practice his race car driving at and Italian restaurant at night they practiced lines, working on developing their characters' relationship and chemistry. At least that's what they told themselves and the people around them. To any bystander witnessing their exchanges in public, they all assumed the pair was in a relationship.

"So, tomorrow's our first table read with the cast," Derek said casually to Meredith. "You nervous?"

"No, I'm prepared. I have a great 'study buddy'," Meredith laughed, sending a wink his way.

"Well me too, but it was kind of hard for me to concentrate with my study buddy. She is just too adorable and beautiful for her own good," responded Derek while capturing Meredith's green eyes with his for a moment. All time stood still until Meredith pulled out of his gaze.

"Shut up!" she said playfully, pushing his shoulder back while blushing. Her cheeks turned rose pink and Derek chuckled. He loved making her blush and embarrassed. Most of the time she had a 'sassy' and 'tough girl' exterior but he was always able to bring out her sweet, vulnerable one.

"Well it's true! I can't help it if my 'study buddy' captivates me" he said leaning closer towards Meredith across the table in the Italian restaurant they were sitting at. It was their last night before the beginning of what they assumed to be a busy schedule of late nights and early mornings on set so they thought they would celebrate together.

"Well, the 'Study buddy's' boyfriend is a lucky one" Finn said as he came back from the restroom sitting down next to Meredith and pulling her in for a quick peck on the lips.

This sent sparks of jealousy throughout Derek which he tried to push aside, 'what are you thinking? She's not yours to be jealous of' he thought to himself while physically shaking his head in an effort to get the thoughts out of his head.

"What's wrong honey?" Rose said as she returned to the table after taking a phone call.

"Oh nothing, just not looking forward to the long hours that I'm going to have to work. It won't leave much time for my racing," he responded. And while the racing part of it was true, Derek having a huge passion for NASCAR driving, he couldn't help but be excited for the extended hours he would get to spend with Meredith.

"I think it's a good thing, I'm always scared that hobby of yours is gonna get yourself killed!" Meredith said with an over dramatic performance and laughing, trying to make light of the situation. She was always worried for him but he wasn't hers to worry about.

"Same" replied Rose, "It's getting a little out of hand. When I suggested you try racing I never actually thought it would get this serious."

For the most part, Derek had just been playing around with different cars on the track, getting a feel for the speed. But lately his passion had been growing and he was beginning to think about taking the sport up on a professional level. Rose never supported him in the idea but Meredith seemed happy for him. As much as she was worried for his safety she knew he was very passionate about it.

"Rose, I enjoy it and that's all there is to it. I don't want to have this conversation again, especially in public!" stated Derek more firmly, all signs of joking gone.

"Ooh look, our food's here!" exclaimed Meredith, trying to take the attention away from the bickering pair.

"My pizza's better though" added Finn when Meredith took her fist bite of her supreme pizza.

"Cause it's the only thing you know how to make" she said, in between bites.

"Really?" Derek questioned, "Well Finn if you ever want cooking tips from me come right over and ask. We all know how women love it when men cook for them." He didn't know why but Derek prided himself in the different ways he out did Finn.

"But you never cook for me" intervened Rose

"That's because you're never at home to see it."

The conversation had taken an awkward turn and each of them began eating their meals in silence. When the waiter came to take their plates away they all began their retreat stating that Derek and Meredith had an early morning the next day.

As soon as Meredith walked in the door of her house her phone buzzed:

Derek: Well that was awkward

Meredith: haha, I know!

Derek: Next time, just you and me ok?

Meredith: Oh Derek! Don't let that convo at the end think that it's impossible for us all to go out together. It was going well before…

Derek: yeah I know…

Derek: But it's still more fun with just you

Meredith: yep, we're the fun ones in our relationships! Lol :D

Derek: Which makes us perfect friends!

Meredith: yes we are good friends J I'll see you tomorrow Derek

Derek: good night Meredith, sweet dreams my best friend

With that last message Meredith smiled. She liked the thought of being best friends with Derek but it still brought sadness to her. She would never admit it to herself, but in her heart, she wanted something more with him.

**Review, review, review! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE DIALOGUE TAKEN FROM THE SHOW**

**It's the fist day of filming! Hope y'all like this update and thank's so much to every one who's reviewed! I'm glad you're enjoying it :D**

Both Meredith and Derek each stepped out of their cars at practically the same time, smiling at each other as they headed towards Stage 6, Aka, the Pompeo's Anatomy stage where they would film the first scene of the show at Prospect Studios. To say Meredith was excited would be an understatement. It had been a while since she had had a large role in an acting gig and the fact that she got to share it with her best friend made it even better. Because that's what Derek was, her best friend. Over the past few days she had been willing to set aside her initial feelings for her neighbor and just stay friends, as much as her heart didn't want to, she pushed those feelings aside to focus on the show. She couldn't wait to see her other costars again, remembering how well the table read went the day before….

* * *

_The room was set up with long tables pressed together in a square, allowing the actors to face each other. Looking around the room she found Derek speaking to another man. He was African American with short hair and an annoyed look on his face. 'hmmm,' she thought. 'That's probably the guy playing Dr. Isaiah Washington that cardio surgeon.' Continuing to search around the table she saw Izzie Stevens. Meredith was excited to work with her, she had been in many movie's Meredith liked including 'The Ringer' that had just come out a few months ago as well as many movies in the late 90's. Her eyes then lay on another man with brown scruffy hair and pudgy cheeks. He was cute, in a kid sort of way 'Dr. Knight' she thought instantly, the intern who had a crush on her character but didn't have the guts to tell her. Meredith smiled. It looked like she would have fun working with him. Before she had the chance to check out the other cast members Derek called her over, smiling and waving. She caught sight of his beautiful blue eyes and her face brightened as she made her way towards him._

_"Hey, I saved a seat for you" he said as he stood up and gave her a hug. She breathed in his sweet yet masculine scent that propelled shivers up her spine. It felt good to be in his strong embrace and she welcomed it wholeheartedly. Their hug lasted a little longer than it should have and instantly, the entire room had the same thought 'are they in a relationship?' but all of them, not wanting to get started on the wrong foot, continued chatting to each other acting as if they didn't notice the feelings radiating from the couple. _

_"Thank you. How are you going?" she asked as they pulled out of their embrace, smiles still painted on their faces._

_"I'm good. I've already spoken to some of the cast, they all seem like good people. Well, one I'm not too sure about, that Preston dude but it's nothing I can't handle" he added in an 'a matter a fact' tone._

_"Haha," she laughed, sending Derek's heart soaring at the sound, "well we can't have everything"_

_Derek pulled Meredith's chair out from under the desk for her to sit down before going back to his seat. 'Always the gentleman' she thought to herself. _

_"So, it looks like we're going to have to be good friends," said the Asian lady sitting next to her._

_"Let me guess, you're Cristina Yang?" replied Meredith_

_"The one and only."_

_"I'm Miranda Bailey, y'all's boss," chuckled a short woman with dark skin and short hair._

_"Ok, ok everyone. Now that you've all had some time to chat, welcome to the first table read of Pompeo's Anatomy. Let's get started!" Interrupted Shannon causing all the actors to quickly pick up their scripts and begin reading through the first episode... _

_ ..._

_Kate: What's your name?_

_Ellen: It's me mom, Ellen_

_Kate: Alright…I used to be a doctor I think_

_Ellen: You are a doctor mom, you're a surgeon_

_When that last line was read out some of the cast had tears in their eyes and everyone began applauding. It was just so well written and even though they had already read the ending, seeing it being spoken by the actors took it to the next level. _

* * *

Today was the day they were prepared to film the first scene of the series. Which required Meredith and Derek naked. Well, part naked. Meredith was nervous, she had been trying so hard to bury her initial feelings towards Derek and she was afraid that seeing him half naked would make them all resurface. 'You're with Finn, he's with Rose' she thought. Reminding herself of the reality was the only way she could see him as just a friend. 'He's with Rose, he's with Rose, he's with Rose.' She thought a few more times, and stepped onto the set where Derek was already waiting. She had skin colored bra and panties on and held a blue blanket around her as she walked out. With one look at him her controlling thoughts flew out the window. His black locks were styled in a purposeful messy way to resemble sex hair. His well defined abs were prominent on his stomach while his chest hair was just the right amount, the muscles in his arms pronounced and flexed while he helped move a table to make room on the set for him to lie down. Reminding herself that she was with Finn and he was with Rose she walked towards him, hoping to get this over as fast as possible. If they were left in this state of undress for too long, there was no telling what she might do to the gorgeous man in front of her, whether they were both in a relationship with others or not.

"Meredith!" Derek called when he saw her approach him. His face lit up instantly and he looked at her with adoring eyes and she couldn't help but once again, fall under his spell. Trying to get a hold of herself she joked, "Hey there naked man, first day at work and you're already stripping to impress the ladies. Not afraid of being fired huh?"

"Speak for yourself," he laughed pointing to a gap between the ends of the blanked wrapped around her, revealing the flawless pale skin of her hips and thigh. Blushing she quickly covered the blanked over herself more thoroughly.

"Ok everyone! Let's get started! Meredith you lie on the couch and give Derek your blanket. Derek, you're on the floor," shouted the director. Hesitant Meredith began to unfold the blanket from her and handed it to Derek.

"Now look who's stripping to impress" chuckled Derek quietly in Meredith's ear as he grabbed the blanket from her and lay down. Her cheeks were a bright beetroot as she quickly took her place on the couch.

"Anddd ACTION!"

**Review, Review! It may motivate me to write faster! lol :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE DIALOGUE USED FROM THE SHOW**

**Hope you all like this update! I have finally planned out where I want this story to go so after this you may find there will be more 'direction' in terms of the plot, lol :D Enjoy!**

After that first awkward scene everything was back to normal with Meredith and Derek for the rest of the week while they filmed the first episode. They were all smiles and laughter and flirtatious together while behind the scenes and everyone was beginning to notice. The first few days they got some confused looks from their cast mates, wondering why they were so close with each other after such a short time. But when, one day, Derek explained that they were neighbors and knew each other before the show everyone backed off a bit. All friendships are different, some close friends insulted each other, some flirted. And flirt they did. By the time they finished filming the first episode the sexual tension between the two when they were together was insane.

* * *

"They're doing it I tell you" Cristina whispered to Izzie as they stood watching them from the other side of the room between takes.

"Cristina, mind your own business," whispered Izzie in a disapproved tone. Although she did agree with Cristina she didn't like to interfere with other people's business.

"Ohh, look at how she just brushed her hand against his chest! 20 bucks says they're doing it"

"30 bucks says they'll be screwing in two weeks time," their other co-star Alex added as he walked up behind the two girls. "You can tell they're still in the flirty stage. It won't last long though," he laughed deviously.

"Fine, 50 bucks says they'll be together by the end of the season," whispered Izzie. They all looked at her shocked, she was always distant when it came to her co-workers personal lives. "yes, ok, I know I'm going against what I said earlier but look at them! They're just so cute in their own little bubble. There's definitely something there."

"Yeah, too bad he's married with a kid….55 bucks says they'll get together in a month," Miranda Bailey chimed in walking up next to the group. They all looked at her stunned. She never got caught up in the rest of the cast's business either, she was older and the other actors looked up to her like a mentor so they never spoke about their personal lives with her. "Hey, who said I couldn't make a little more cash on the side too?" she shrugged and walked off.

"Alright everyone, break's over! Let's get back to work!" shouted the director, effectively ending their little betting game.

* * *

Meredith was nervous. Derek was nervous. But they refused to show it to each other. Well, at least they thought they didn't show it to each other. But really, they could both read each other. It was in their eyes. It was as if they could see right into each other's soul when looking at them. After a bit over a week of harmless flirting while filming the first episode and some of the second it was now time to film the scene each had been nervous about. The elevator kiss. As much as they each were curious, and actually wanted to film it they couldn't help but dread that this kiss may unleash the forbidden feelings they had for each other. Feelings that both parties had repressed deep inside them to do right by their current relationships. Neither had spoken to each other about this issue, so even though they could see it in the other's eyes, they lied to themselves. 'He doesn't have feelings for me' Meredith thought as she walked towards the elevator with him by her side. 'She loves her boyfriend, why would she think about me' Derek thought to himself.

"So, I'm ready for this, but are you?" Derek whispered with a playful smirk to Meredith as they approached the elevator. He decided to try and be casual like they had been for the past week.

"Oh you think you're ready for me, but let me tell you, you're not"

"That good huh? We'll see" he joked. He was keeping it cool on the outside, hiding behind his ego but really, his heart began to speed up in his chest. This was it. They were going to act out the kissing scene. Their first kiss. Well, technically it was their characters, Ellen and Patrick's first kiss but he didn't look at it in that way.

"Ok everyone quiet please…" began the director, "Annndddd ACTION!"

...

Patrick: Seattle has ferryboats

Ellen: Yes

Patrick: I didn't know that. I've been living here six weeks and I didn't know there were ferryboats

Ellen: Seattle is surrounded on water on three sides

...

"And Cut!" shouted the director. "What's happening with you two? You seem too tense! This is supposed to be playful flirting. Just, be your natural selves" he suggested. 'Great!' thought Derek, 'Now these stupid nerves are affecting my acting…this is going to take longer than I thought.' After re doing the beginning of the scene they continued on. Both participants feeling the same nervousness and awkwardness, yet having no idea that the feeling was mutual…

...

Patrick: Hence the ferryboats. Now I have to like it here. I wasn't planning on liking it here. I'm from New York. I'm genetically engineered to hate everywhere, except Manhattan. I have a thing for ferryboats.

Ellen: I'm not going out with you

Patrick: Did I ask you to go out with you? Do you want to go out with me?

Ellen: I'm not dating you. And I'm definitely not sleeping with you again.

Patrick: I'm your boss

...

"Cut! What's up with you two today?"

"Sorry Brian, I didn't get much sleep last night. Guess it's just not my day," Meredith responded quickly. It was technically true, she really didn't get much sleep at all, knowing that the next day she would have to kiss her costar for the first time. If it were any other person she would have been fine with it. She was a professional. She could easily do what was asked of her. It was just the feeling of butterflies she'd get in her stomach when he was near her, and the warmth she felt when she looked at his smile. It was these strange feelings that she had never felt before, not even with Finn, that made her nervous for the kiss.

"Ok well, lets try again!" Shouted the director, moving back behind the camera.

...

Ellen: You're my teacher, and my teacher's teacher, and you're my teacher

Patrick: I'm your sister I'm your daughter

Ellen: You're sexually harassing me

Patrick: I'm riding an elevator

Ellen: Look. I'm drawing a line. The line is drawn. There's a big line

Patrick: So this line, is it imaginary or do I need to get you a marker?

...

The moment Derek turned around to face her all her thoughts and nerves went out the drain. Looking into his eyes for a quick moment she dropped the papers she was holding and flattened him against the wall. Their bodies molded together and she drew her fingers through his soft raven locks. Their lips met. The world stopped. His soft yet firm mouth covered hers in a heated lip lock that she wanted to last forever. Their lips shaped together as one and she felt his tongue press against them, asking for permission. Opening her mouth in an instant she granted him access to her mouth. They had previously decided against the use of tongue for the kiss but they couldn't help themselves. It was heaven. Hungrily he ran his hands over her curves and beneath her lab coat, pressing her closer to his hard, strong body and slightly lifting her up. She quickly wrapped her legs around his wait, knowing that they were only using close up and medium shots so the audience wouldn't see. Their hips ground together and she could feel his erection growing harder against her thigh. Suddenly, he took charge and flipped her against the wall, pushing her up a bit higher. One hand locked firmly in his hair, the other on his back she felt the pleasure build inside her. Their tongues continued to battle as he kissed her passionately. It wasn't until Derek's hand made it's way to the elastic of her scrubs that she realized where she was and quickly pushed him away, bending over to pick up the papers on the ground as the elevator door opened.

"Yes! Now that's more like it!" Shouted the director, pleased with their performance. "Alright everyone, I think we all need a bit of a break to gather ourselves. See you in fifteen!"

As quickly as she could Meredith gave a small goodbye smile to Derek and ran off to her trailer. She couldn't believe what had just happened. That wasn't Ellen kissing Patrick it was Meredith kissing Derek. As she reached her trailer she went straight to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. Looking at her reflection she noticed her lips beginning to grow redder, swollen from his passionate and fiery kisses. Her heart was still pounding hard in her chest when she finally allowed herself to accept what she had been trying to repress, she was falling for Derek Shepherd.

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	9. Chapter 9

**HERE'S THE NEXT UPDATE! I didn't get much of a chance to proof read it as I was rushed for time but I felt I needed to post something for you guys today, lol :D Hope you like it**

_Three months later…_

Three months. It had been three months since she had kissed Derek Shepherd. Every time she saw him all she could think about was his skilled tongue. Down her throat. This essentially made it three months worth of torture because she couldn't act on these thoughts. The few weeks following the filming of the elevator kiss were awkward between them. Awkward silences, exchanges in the hallways backstage and run-in's in their front yards. However, both determined to not lose each other and their friendship, they eventually went back to being their normal selves, deciding to never speak of the feelings that surfaced during that moment. They were back to being 'Best friends'. At least on the outside. But on the inside, neither of them had the courage to tell each other what they really felt...

* * *

_Three months ago after the kiss…_

_Derek returned Meredith's small smile his way before turning his back to her and quickly walking outside. They had kissed…and it had been good. Too good. He couldn't begin to explain how good it felt having her in his arms, her body pressed strongly up against his, molding to him like clay, or two pieces in a puzzle. But he shouldn't be feeling these things for her. He should be thinking about his wife, that was what a true husband was supposed to do. But he couldn't get those green eyes out of his vision and her lavender scent out of his nose. His pants were still tight from the short exchange. He had heard lots of male actors would have this problem but he didn't think it would be this bad. It had been a while since he had a hard on line this, his wife was hardly ever home anymore. Sighing, he quickly headed to his trailer to take a cold shower. And try as he did, he couldn't seem to get thoughts of Meredith out of his head. He had always had fun with her, always harmlessly flirting, but nothing more. But this had opened his eyes. He was now seeing her in a whole new light. Was he falling for Meredith Grey?_

_One month later…_

_It had been about a month after the kiss and things were still a little awkward between Meredith and Derek. Though they still spoke to each other at work, the flirting had lessoned from little to none some days. And there were always awkward moments when they saw each other for the first time in the morning. It was as if, they both wanted to tell the other of their forbidden feelings but decided against it at the last minute. Derek couldn't handle it. He was lonely with his wife out of the country promoting her new make up line in Australia and with the long hours he was forced to leave Tallulah with a nanny most nights. He was exhausted! And he didn't need a strain in his relationship with his costar on top of it. So, he decided to break the ice and organize a 'Day of Fun' together. _

_"Hey, Meredith wait up for a minute," he called her as she was travelling back to her trailer after finishing filming for the week. _

_"What is it?" she asked confused. She needed to get home to get to her daily ritual of drowning her thoughts of him with tequila. _

_"I was just wondering if you were doing anything tomorrow?" he asked, a bit puffed from running to catch up with her._

_"Why?"_

_"Well, things have been a little rough between us and I wanted to fix it. I miss us," he said sadly, looking into her eyes to try and find a hit that she knew what he was talking about. That she felt the say way too. _

_"Oh..I…" Meredith hesitated. She had no idea what to say. She had convinced herself that he didn't feel anything towards her. Maybe she had been wrong._

_"I just…I just don't want to lose this friendship we have Meredith. You are my best friend and we haven't been there for each other for the past month." _

_'Oh' she thought, 'he's talking about our friendship, I thought…well…doesn't matter what I thought'. Sighing she looked down to her feet, unable to think clearly when he was looking at her like that. Like someone he loved. She suddenly felt a surge of frustration. His words were saying on thing but then his eyes were saying another. Deciding to ignore the silent message of his eyes, she responded with a firm tone, "Look. I get what you mean, we haven't been talking much but I actually need to get home to Finn so what did you have in mind? Make it quick"_

_"Haha," he laughed, "There's my tough Mer," He smirked playfully._

_"I'm waiting Derek"_

_"Ok, well, I was thinking that if you weren't doing anything we could have a 'day of fun.' I do them a lot with Tallulah when we get a free weekend. I'll take you out, we'll do all the touristy things and just have some fun and be ourselves."_

_She did like the sound of that. A day to have fun. It had been a while since they had had a day off and she did need to unwind…"Ok" she said in a serious tone, trying her best not to look overly excited about the idea, "but what about Tallulah?"_

_"I was going to send her to a friend's house but…"_

_"No! bring her along. She's a sweet kid and she deserves a day out with her father," smiled Meredith remembering the first night she had seen Tallulah. _

_"Ok," he exclaimed. He would have rather it be just the two of them but decided maybe it was better to have Tallulah there as a distraction from making him imagine all the things he wanted to do to her…'no! stop thinking about that Derek, she's your friend, you're married' he thought to himself. "Well I guess it's a date. You, me, Tallulah and fun! I'll come over at 9am sharp. Be ready!" he exclaimed excitedly as he started heading back to his car, not leaving her a chance to back out. He felt a heavy weight lifted off him. Things were going to be ok…._

_xxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Derek and Tallulah walked Meredith back to her front door at the end of their 'day of fun', grins planted on their faces and they laughed and joked walking down the sandstone pathway leading to Meredith's front verandah. They had a jam-packed day beginning with a visit to Hollywood Blvd, followed by lunch on Sunset Blvd at a quaint Italian restaurant that sold the most exquisite pizza Meredith had ever tasted. And she had had many pizzas in her time. They then caught a taxi to Santa Monica, spending the remainder of the day on the rides and walking along the beach. With Tallulah there, both Meredith and Derek pushed their worried thoughts to the back of their minds and, well, just had fun. Conversation flowed and their flirting manner came back, on an appropriate level while they were with Tallulah of course!_

_"Thank you so much for suggesting this Derek. Today was amazing!" she said with a bright smile. She was glowing, her skin slightly tanner from the day out in the sun and her golden hair flowing perfectly around her face. She was breathtaking. _

_"You're welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed it I had…"_

_"Daddy, Daddy can we go again tomorrow, can we go with Mer again tomorrow?" Tallulah cut him off excitedly, jumping up and down next to him and pulling on his shirt._

_"Haha, not tomorrow but maybe another time, only if Mer wants to T," he said before kneeling down next to her and loudly whispering, "You might have to ask her nicely first though"_

_Stepping away from her father she looked up towards Meredith giving her her cutest puppy dog blue eyes as she asked, "Meredith, can you pretty, pretty please with sugar and berries come with us again some other time? You're so much fun," then she gestured with her finger for Meredith to lean down to her level and whispered, "I think your even funner than daddy!"_

_Laughing Meredith whispered back in a volume loud enough for Derek to hear, "Well if I'm even more fun to be around than your dad then we will defiantly have to do this again. I can't let you be bored with your dad!" she said as she looked up at Derek with an overly exaggerated shocked look on his face. _

_"Yay, yay, yay! Thank you Mer, thank you!" She shouted excitedly and pulled Meredith into a big bear hug. Meredith felt warmth grow up inside her. Tallulah was adorable and she liked her. She really liked her. Meredith didn't have kids and she barley saw her nieces and nephews as they living in Boston so she was happy to know that she did get along with kids. And she was especially happy to have gotten along with Tallulah. _

_"Bye sweetheart. I'll see you another day ok? Maybe we can have another dinner together or something if your dad's happy to cook again…" she suggested before looking up at Derek._

_"Of course. We're happy to have you Meredith." He smiled. At that moment warmth radiated from the inside out because the fact that she wanted to see him again in a social setting outside work meant that this had worked. They had repaired their friendship. _

_"I'll see you on Monday at work ok?" he said, suddenly a little bit sad to leave her_

_"Daddy you have to give Mer a good-bye hug!" Tallulah exclaimed when he began to turn around._

_"Right! How could I forget a good-bye hug? Thanks T"_

_He reached her and without hesitation he pulled her into his arms. She was soft and warm, once again fitting perfectly against his form, just the right size and height. He longed to do much more than just hug her. The way her body was pressed against his was triggering sparks inside that had been repressed for a month. He pressed his lips against the top of her head, breathing in her unique scent in. Lavender again. It was fast becoming his favorite flower. Tallulah, unable to resist a big hug, quickly joined them, wrapping her arms around one of Meredith's and Derek's legs. Laughing, Derek picked her up and they had a group hug. It was cheesy but Meredith loved every moment of it. She felt like she was a part of a family. _

_"What's going on here?" a sudden, deep masculine voice sounded behind them, ripping them out of their cocoon. Meredith suddenly looked up, dreading what was about to come that night, "Finn!" _


	10. Chapter 10

**Here's the new update! Sorry for the wait guys :( I've been sick lately + I've been getting more shifts at work so I haven't had much spare time. This update however is the longest update I've posted so far so I hope that makes up for it! Enjoy :D**

_Present day…_

She woke up on a Sunday morning to the sound of her alarm beeping terribly. But, unlike other days Meredith was happy. In fact, she was ecstatic! Today was the first day in two months that she had off and she was planning to spend it with Derek and Tallulah on another one of their 'Days of fun'. She couldn't wait.

"Urrggg…can you turn that freaken thing off?" groaned Finn from next to her on their bed.

"Chill, I'm about to," she replied, annoyed. Ever since the day he had come home to see Meredith, Derek and Tallulah in what looked like a very close, loving embrace he had been acting differently. He had suddenly began to make more of an effort to spend time with Meredith. Which, at first, she found to be good because in truth, she had missed him. But as time went on, it only reminded her more of how much she would rather be spending that time with a certain someone with black perfect hair and deep blue eyes. Finn's acts were desperate and he even questioned Meredith, many times, whether or not she was having an affair with her costar after their weekly family dinners together. She would deny it, because she technically wasn't. But emotionally…emotionally she knew deep down that she was. Every time Derek walked into a room she lit up. This never happened with Finn. Every time Derek smiled she smiled and every time he looked at her she got lost in his eyes. This never happened with Finn. She didn't really know what to do. She was honestly tempted to leave him but then she didn't want to be alone. She knew Derek would never leave his wife and daughter, even if there was the slightest change that he did share the same feelings. Pushing those feelings aside Meredith quickly got ready for her day.

"Do you know what time you'll be back? I want to take you out to dinner," Finn asked as she was just about the leave the bedroom. A jolt of nerves filled his entire body. This was the night. This was the night he was planning to propose to his girlfriend of three years. He realized he had been a little distant when they first moved to LA because of work. And he did see the effects it was having on her, seeking friendship with that neighbor of his, but ever since he saw them together that day on the porch it was a big wake up call to him. After lots of screaming, and fighting he realized what he had done wrong and fought like hell to fix it. She had been better lately, a little distant at times when she got home after a long time at work or one of their dinners at the Shepherd's house but other than that Meredith was much happier. And he decided it was all because of his actions.

"Ummm, no, I don't know, we'll see," she said quickly, trying to get out of the room.

"Just, please try and make it back sweetie. You're lucky I'm letting you go with that man, you see so much of him already." 'Whoops! Wrong thing to say' he instantly thought when he saw a shocked look mixed with anger on her face. "Sweetie sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I want to spend more time with you, I love you." He quickly added. After that day he soon discovered Derek was a sore subject around Meredith and was trying really hard to keep his thoughts about him to himself.

"I'll see what I can do," she replied a little coldly before quickly retreating to meet Derek and Tallulah at their house. As she walked down the steps she felt sick in her stomach. She, yet again, had not told her boyfriend that she loved him. She couldn't. Her heart was falling for someone else.

* * *

"Tallulah! Are you ready to go? Mer will be here any minute!" Derek called out to his daughter from the other side of her bedroom door. She had been awfully quiet, which she usually never was when she was going to see Meredith. He smiled at the thought of his daughter and his friend and how well they got along. Tallulah looked up to Meredith, and he couldn't think of a better role model for her. Ever since his wife had returned home the day after his 'day of fun' with Meredith she had become a different person, someone she hoped his daughter wouldn't become. She was keeping an eye on everything he did, the people he associated with and the places he went. He felt like he was under surveillance 24/7. The only thing he could think of was jealousy. The show was becoming popular and with girls everywhere of all ages calling him 'McDreamy' his wife was beginning to become over protective.

"Errrr….Daddy…" he heard Tallulah reply weakly from the other side of the door.

"What's wrong gorgeous?" Derek said, concerned as he opened the door. She was lying in bed, almost covered by a sea of blankets, with flushed red cheeks.

"I think, *cough* I think I'm sick…" she said weakly in between vicious coughs. "I can still go with you and Meri though? Please daddy!" she begged finishing her plead with another loud cough.

"Sweetie I'm sorry but I think you're going to have to stay home today. You seem really sick and you'll get better faster if you stay at home. I'll call Mer and tell her to come another time," he replied sadly. He too had been looking forward to this day with his two favourite girls but not much could be done, he wanted his daughter to get better as soon as possible.

"No daddy! Go with Meri without me, I don't want to spoil your day of fun," responded Tallulah.

"Yes Derek, go. It'll give me a chance to spend some time with my daughter," interrupted Rose from the doorway of Tallulah's room. She was standing there, leaning casually against the doorframe in her fluffy pink dressing gown with a smug smile on her face.

"Umm…" Derek began. He was so confused because his wife never encouraged him to see Ellen and always complained when they came over for their weekly dinners, suggested by Tallulah.

"Seriously Derek, go do whatever it is you do with Meredith and I'll spend the day with Tallulah, I miss my baby girl," she said as she walked over to her and put her palm on Tallulah's forehead to check her temperature.

"Ooh, she's burning up! Derek you'd better get out of here, we can't have precious McDreamy getting sick now can we?" she added almost a little coldly. As much as she didn't like the thought of her husband out with his costar, she wanted to spend some time with her daughter in the hopes that when she felt better, she could find out all there was to know about Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd together.

"Ummm, are you sure? Because I'd love to take care of my T, don't you want daddy to look after your sweetie?" he asked Tallulah softly

"Go with Meri daddy," she replied weakly before closing her eyes to drift off to sleep. Sighing he looked up at Rose.

"What are you up to Rose? You don't like Meredith," he whispered to her harshly.

"I never said that! And is it a crime to want to look after my own child?" she said in a faked shocked tone.

Suspicious towards her intentions Derek decided to drop the subject. If both his wife and child wanted him to spend the day with Meredith, then he was going to spend the day with her. Screw it. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. She was here. After giving his daughter a quick kiss goodbye on the forehead he headed downstairs to his neighbor.

* * *

"Mmmm, yumm! Well, I guess it's official, this is by far the best gelato I've tasted in the states!" exclaimed Meredith as she licked her hazelnut and strawberry gelato off her wafer cone. It was late afternoon and they had spent the day around Santa Monica, walking around the streets and into random little shops they passed, trying to escape the heat of the day.

"I told you, a gentleman never lies," he replied happily, smiling at how cute she looked trying to stop the gelato from dripping down the sides of the cone. It was an unusually hot day for autumn and they were doing everything they could to stay cool, which of course, meant ice cream while walking along the Santa Monica Pier.

"Ha ha, and who said you were a gentleman?" she teased, "Who's the one that made me drop my first cone before I even had a taste and made me pay for it?"

"Hey, there wasn't enough room on that cone for three flavors of gelato. Not my fault you have such a big appetite! And I offered to pay, you said no!"

"Hey!" she said, playfully slapping his bicep. "Well if you had insisted a little more I would have given up and let you pay. Never would I say no to free stuff! And it's hot, and I wanted the gelato to last!" she giggled. He loved her giggle. It was like music to his ears, he could listen to it all day and never get tired of it.

"Well I'll keep that in mind next time," he replied with a smile. She was beautiful. Her luscious golden curls hung lose flowing freely and shaping her face. Her green tank top matched her eyes, making them shine and her denim shorts fitted her like they were made for her. She was the image of perfection. Yet, he couldn't fight the feeling that this was wrong. He shouldn't be thinking these thoughts. He should be thinking about his wife, the mother of his child. Distracting him from his thoughts she asked, "Hey, wanna walk down to the beach? Put our feet in the water? I'm so hot without that ice cream," It took all his willpower to not respond with how he thought the weather wasn't the only thing that was hot. Flirting like that would not be a good idea. Especially since his daughter was sick with his wife at home. Instead he responded with, "Sure, that sounds nice…wait! You finished your ice cream already?! My god, I have no idea where you put it all."

"I use it for energy so I can beat you in our race to the beach!" she yelled before running off towards the stairs leading down to the beach from the pier. Smiling he shook his head in amazement. He couldn't get over how lively and adorable she was. Even after the obscene amount of hours they spent working on set, she still managed to have the energy to run. He paused for a moment before following her, unable to get his eyes off her perfect form. Then, thinking about Rose again, he pushed those thoughts to the side. He had a family. She was his friend, that was all.

As he approached her she was already walking along the wet sand, letting the water spread over her precious pale skin. She looked up and paused for a second. He was so handsome. She couldn't get over his perfection. His white button up shirt was flying loosely in the wind with only a few buttons in the middle done up. It gave her a fantastic view of his perfectly sculpted chest and strong abs. He looked like a model with his khaki three quarter pants and beautifully styled hair. She was falling for him, and she was falling for him bad, but she didn't want to be a home wrecker. She couldn't. Not unless she knew for certain that he, for some reason she couldn't possibly imagine, felt the same way for her too. But how was she to know? She couldn't ask him, they had only known each other for three months! It was at least a year before she had gone into a proper relationship with Finn. One what was dwindling, at least in her mind, by the day. But she didn't want to let go of Finn. Not yet. Not until she at least had an idea behind Derek's feelings towards her. Did he really think of her as just a friend? Cause it was fast becoming more for her. Repressing her thoughts she kicked water in his direction when he came close, splashing the crutch of his pants. He instantly stopped walking. Frozen. Looking down at his wet pants then back up to her he had an angry expression on his face. Yet, she looked into his eyes and saw softness there. He was teasing her and she knew it.

"Oh No! McDreamy's wet his pants!" she teased, deciding to go along with it. With that he charged at her grabbing her by the waist and pulling them both down into the shallow water. She laughed and squealed, trying to get out of his grasp as the water drenched her hair and clothes. "Derek!" she shouted in between laughs and squeals, "stop, hahaha!" she tried to sound firm but he began rolling her around, tickling her on the beach.

"This is what you get for splashing me, there," he said in her ear as he finally rolled her over so that his arms were on either side of her head, holding his body above hers. She could feel the heat radiating from his body. He was so close, yet so far. Looking up into his eyes she smiled. Awe struck. She had never been in this close proximity to him unless they were filming a scene. Memories of the elevator kiss began to flood her mind. She couldn't help it. She was beyond the point of pushing her thoughts about him out of her mind. She was falling so hard it wasn't funny. His eyes became dark with need and lust. Did he want her too? There was only one way to find out. Slowly, she lifted her right hand, moving it up to stroke the stubble on his cheek. Ever so slowly, they leaned in towards each other. Their lips were a centimeter apart. She could feel his hot panting breath on her face and his body had lowered, resting comfortably on hers. She felt so safe covered beneath him and at that moment nothing else mattered. Closing her eyes she lifted her head so her lips could meet his…

"I can't," was all he said before he lifted himself off her and began walking to the outside showers to wash the sand off.

Panting, she lay there on the wet sand for what seemed like eternity, heartbroken.

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**p.s. I am a HUGE MerDer shipper so don't worry, trust me! **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi! Here is the next update giving you a glimpse into Derek's perspective...with a hint of Rose's...**

**Oh, and thanks for all the praise for the story, I'm glad y'all are liking it :D**

_One month later…_

Derek woke Monday morning feeling the same way he had every Monday morning since that day a month beforehand. He was exhausted, and despite how he enjoyed his job, he lacked motivation to go. He lacked motivation to do anything but lie there and think about the terrible decisions he had made. But there was one in particular that consumed his thoughts during most of his free time. He couldn't grasp the fact that he had rejected Meredith that day. The day that everything changed between them. Not on the outside though, no, on the outside he played the supportive friend that was happy for her and she played the happy new fiancé. But inside, he was hollow. He had lost all hope for something he didn't even know he was hoping for. A future with Meredith. He wanted to be the bigger man, the man who didn't cheat on his wife and kept his family in tact. But in the process, he lost what his heart truly desired, love and happiness with Meredith. 'She probably doesn't even think of me that way. It happened for the best' he told himself for the millionth time since he had heard the news of her engagement to Finn. He was in denial, but he knew for a fact that it wasn't true. She had leaned into him to kiss him that day on the beach. She had made the move and she looked at him the way only lovers looked at each other, with beautiful sparkles, calmness and deep warmth in her eyes. A person doesn't look at another like that unless they have true feelings for them. But he reasoned these all away, equating it to a moment of weakness, which lots of girls seemed to have when around him, and focusing on the facts. She had said yes to Finn, why would she do that if she had for him the same feelings that Derek had for her?

Feeling Rose roll over close to him on his left, he sighed and began to turn the sheets over to get ready to go to the set. They had nearly finished filming the first season, which was much shorter than most with 9 episodes because the show was a mid season replacement. There had been talk that it was going to get renewed for a second season however, which both pleased and scared Derek half to death. Yes, it meant he got to keep his job but it also meant he's have to stick around to see a happily married Meredith who was scheduled to get hitched a week after they finished filming. At least if she was just his neighbor he would have his house to hide out in.

"Don't go yet," croaked Rose sleepily as she reached her arm out around his waist to pull him back in bed. "This is the only time I get to see you with your ridiculous schedule."

"I'm going to be late," replied Derek firmly. He was not in the mood to talk to Rose at the moment. He could tell she was trying to repair their marriage that had slowly dwindled over the years, more so declining now with Derek's new job and her busy schedule.

"Derek I'm trying here," she sighed, looking up at him with sad eyes. "I love you so much and you've just closed yourself off to me. I'm your wife. Your wife Derek! You can tell me anything." She continued desperately.

"It's nothing Rose, work is just so busy right now. Shannon had us working overtime so we can keep to schedule and finish on time. Something about a new actor on the very last episode who is only available for one day."

"Oh, so nothing to do with that slut of a neighbor then?" she growled.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT SHE IS NOT A SLUT?! WE WERE JUST HAVING FUN!" Derek shouted at the top of his lungs. Ever since the beach day Rose had been constantly criticizing Meredith because of paparazzi photos that had been printed in magazines everywhere and he was tired of it. She was perfect, sweet, kind and never did anything wrong.

"Again with the defending of Meredith Grey! There's something up with that woman and I'm going to get to the bottom of it," responded Rose angrily. Somehow Meredith Grey had wrapped her finger around her husband and she needed to chop it off. If she was blackmailing her husband against his will, she would find out.

"Oh my god! I am NOT having this conversation again. Meredith is not seducing me, she is not blackmailing me to steal me away from you, she's not putting me against you and she is not interested in me. She's getting married to Finn for Christ's sake! I'm going to take a shower and leave. Go back to sleep," he ordered angrily.

When he was in the shower Rose quickly slipped out of bed and went to her phone. She had resisted until now but the way Derek had screamed at her to yet again defend Meredith was the worst she'd seen. She probably had something on him bad to have him deny anything this way. And she knew for a fact that something was happening between them. Everyday she stalked the celebrity gossip sites and paparazzi photos in search of anything revealing Meredith and Derek together. What any normal person perceived as a casual smile or handshake, she knew in her mind that it was more. So, she decided to give into her gut and play Meredith's game. If Meredith had dirt to blackmail her husband into sleeping with her and staying away from his wife, she was going to find dirt to blackmail her away from him. Bringing the phone with her downstairs she went to call her private detective friend.

Meanwhile, in the shower Derek was reflecting on how different Rose had become lately. Her mood would always suddenly change, especially when it came to Meredith. One minute she would be all smothering and the next when she found a button lose on his shirt or something out of place, she would go into a rage saying how she thought Meredith was raping him. He coughed it up to just hormones. She had always been a moody person and with all the fans saying how they've been 'falling in love with McDreamy' she was just being over protective. Shrugging it off, he thought back to Meredith. 'Ahh Meredith!' He thought smiling, with her beautiful golden locks that glowed in the light, her ever deep pale green eyes and her contagious laugh that always seemed to brighten his day…. 'STOP' he suddenly thought to himself. He couldn't be doing this. She was getting married to Finn. He began replaying the last moments of their time on the beach that day, wishing he had done things a little differently…

* * *

_She had splashed him in the crotch. She had splashed him in the crotch and although he was not happy, he couldn't help but be amused. She was so adorable standing before him in her shorts and tank top with her puppy dog eyes. She reminded him of Tallulah whenever she tried to play innocent after getting caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. Fighting the urge to smile at her he paused, staring her down for dramatic effect. Then, without thinking he tackled her to the ground, rolling around when they reached the wet sand as small waves crashed over them. Her laughter was music to his ears and he couldn't help but tickle her so he could hear more of it. Whispering quietly that this was her payback for splashing him, he continued tickling and rolling her around until she was pinned to the sand underneath his strong, muscular body. As much as he wanted to lean down and press her soft warm luscious body to his, he opted to give her some space, hovering over her with his hands on either side of her face. She was beautiful. She had the most warming smile and his heart skipped a beat when they both made eye contact, blue meeting green. Drinking her in at that moment, he forgot that he was married, forgot that she had a boyfriend and forgot that they were in public with potential paparazzi looming around. It was just him and her. _

_He had unconsciously gravitated down towards her, their faces only centimeters apart. It was only when she closed her eyes and began to slowly lift her face slowly up towards him that he was pulled out of his reverie. He was married. He had a child. Facts that he had been reminding himself all day. He couldn't abandon his family, no matter how irresistibly beautiful and tempting she was. No matter how much he was falling for her, he couldn't let himself actually act on it. So, deciding to be the bigger person he pulled away. "I can't," was all he said. Those two words had his world, and hers, crushing down. She looked devastated and it broke his heart. He hated being the cause of her pain but he couldn't go though with it. They had never expressed their feelings towards each other as anything deeper than just friends but at that moment her face was an open book. He was more to her. And as much as he wanted to be what she wanted him to be, he couldn't. But, just as quick as the emotion appeared it was quickly masked. It was this quick veil of her feelings that led him to believe that there was a possibility that she didn't feel the way he felt for her. It was this thought that he held onto as he lifted himself off of her and began walking to the outdoor shower to clean himself up. _

_By the time he had finished cleaning himself off, she was gone. He looked around for her at the other showers but she was nowhere to be seen. Sadly he headed towards his car, still soaking wet from the water and with a hollowed heart. _

_The next morning was the first of many torturous mornings. He woke to an empty bed with OK magazine sitting on the pillow next to him and a post it coving one of the front headlines, stating:_

_ You better explain yourself tonight_

_-R_

_Confused, he lifted the post it from the cover and dread encased him as he read the headline:_

_"EXCULUSIVE: McDreamy doing the McNasty with his Costar, minus his McWife" _

_'Crap' was all he could think…_

* * *

As the hot water turned to cold in the shower he was pulled out of his memory. He had made two terrible mistakes. His first was tackling her to the ground like he had in public, which was always a dangers move with any man and women. It was what led to the paparazzi discovery and the beginning of his wife's crazy overprotectiveness. And the second, as much as he hated to admit it, was letting Meredith go.

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	12. Chapter 12

**Here's the update! Sorry for the wait :( Have no fear, I have started on the next update so fingers crossed I can get it done by tomorrow or the next day :D**

**This update focuses on the couple from the perspective of their cast mates, enjoy :D**

"Look at them, they're miserable," whispered Izzie to as she and Cristina sat on their personally labeled chairs behind the crew and equipment as Meredith and Derek were filming a scene from the last episode of the season. After many months of filming, today was their last day of work before the cast broke for a month and a half hiatus.

"I'm just upset we're all gonna lose our bets. I mean, seriously! They were head over heels for each other. No way that's suddenly gone now!" exclaimed Cristina.

"I know! Meredith really did surprise me, accepting Finn's proposal like that. I could have sworn she had strong feelings for McDreamy over there. The way they looked at each other…I want that," whined Izzie as she watched Derek reach for Meredith's arm in between takes. It was obvious he wanted to talk to her, and it was also obvious that she was shutting him out. Ever since Meredith's announcement of her proposal their chemistry had changed. The whole cast noticed it, heck, even the fans noticed it, complaining about how they missed seeing the two costars out and about together outside work. They still kept a good friendly manner around each other but there was now a wall separating them, and the spark in each of their eyes was lost.

"Derek did something. I bet he did something to make Mer accept that douche bag's proposal," their other coworker Alex said as he made his way towards the girls having had chimed in on their conversation.

"You got that right," responded Cristina.

"At least it looks like he's trying to make amends, I mean, he's pulling her away every five seconds between takes," Izzie said in a hopeful tone.

"20 say's they'll get over this and be together for real in a month," bet Alex.

"30 say's they'll be together during the hiatus"

"40 say's they'll be all over each other again by the time we come back to shoot the first episode of season 2," joined Cristina. They were like two peas in a pod. They may be going through some troubles now but there was no denying the chemistry that took over when their barriers were breached when filming scenes together. Cristina could tell that it was only during these times that Meredith let her guard down around him.

"Haha," Alex laughed as he watched Meredith elbow Derek in the ribcage after trying to pull her by the waist with him towards a secluded corner. "The dude's gonna have to make more of a move than that if he wants to get her back. He needs to make a grand gesture or something."

"Oh my gosh you're absolutely right! He needs to woo her, like with flowers and everything. He needs to show her how much he loves her!" exclaimed Izzie excitedly as she began thinking of romantic ways she could help him seduce her.

"Uhh are you idiots forgetting one thing?! He's married, with a DAUGHTER. There's no way he's gonna do that! At least while he's still hitched anyway." Added Cristina, effectively dampening everyone's mood.

"Oh right! How could I forget horse face coming in here every five seconds trying to pull Derek away," added a slightly annoyed Alex. He normally didn't like to get involved with matchmaking schemes like this but he couldn't help but have a soft spot for the pair, as well as a hard spot for Rose. She had been making a point to come to the set practically every day during her lunch hour to try and pull Derek away with her. Every day she made sure her presence and status as Derek's wife was known by everyone, especially Meredith who tried to avoid her every chance she could. Alex always noticed a dramatic change in Meredith's behavior and attitude during these times, snapping back at Rose and making quick come backs to her insults towards her. Alex loved how Meredith could stand up for herself, but he could see the toll it had on her. With every day that passed by he could see her giving in slightly more and more. It was like she had decided it wasn't worth the effort.

"We just need to give them a little push. They're never alone together anymore. We just need to try and make that happen and get Rose out of the way for a few minutes at least during lunch," said Izzie, and, as if on queue they heard the voice of the person they had been dreading.

"Hello! Where is everyone?"

At that moment Alex cringed at the sound of a distinct voice he knew all too well. Rose. She was here for her daily lunch break to swoop Derek away with her again and insult Meredith. 'No' he thought, 'Not this time.' Gesturing for Izzie and Cristina to go and trick Meredith and Derek into talking to each other instead of separating for lunch like they had been doing, he headed towards the dreaded sound.

"Sorry Rose but Patrick's in the middle of filming. There's no telling how long this scene is going to take. I think you better go before you waste any more of your precious time," Alex lied bluntly.

"Oh, I'm sure they will take a break, it's lunch time and I brought Derek a hot toasted sandwich. He hates them when they're cold," she said in a sweet tone. But Alex could hear in her voice that she was masking her annoyance. She was very persistent every time she came to the set and always managed to convince the director to take a break while she was there. 'Not this time' Alex thought. He needed Meredith and Derek to have a long and over due chat.

"I'm sorry but we're on a tight schedule. We need to finish filming today and we are already behind," he lied again. In fact, they were actually running ahead of schedule which was very rare. At the rate they were going he would probably be home in time to watch the 6pm football game on TV. The thought got him slightly more excited, urging him to continue before Rose could even respond to his last statement. Talking the paper bag she was holding with Derek's sandwich in her hand he quickly said, "I'll take the sandwich to him and tell him you came. Bye!" Abruptly he closed the door on her face, locking it. Convinced that she wouldn't come back inside he headed off to the break room, eating Derek's sandwich.

* * *

"Meredith hey!" Yelled Cristina as she hurried over to her.

"Hey," she said with a smile. Cristina could tell that it was forced. It didn't reach her eyes, which before had always managed to sparkle and light up a room. Looking hesitantly towards Izzie who was talking to Derek while leading him into an exam room on the set she placed her arm around Meredith's shoulder and led her in the same direction.

"So are you excited about the hiatus? One and a half months of relaxation!" she exclaimed, knowing it would get her started about the wedding.

"Oh Lord no!" she groaned, "Finn's mother has been pestering me about the wedding non stop. Up until today I've had work as an excuse to dodge it. How am I going to survive an entire week without any distractions? Like, who cares what the centerpieces of the tables are, and the color of the tables, and the band, and this and that! Like, seriously!"

"Well, if you're dreading it that much, why don't you call it off? Most people have year long engagements, not engagements that last only a few months," hinted Cristina. She wanted to try and place doubt in her mind, anything to stall the wedding so she could come to terms with her feelings for Derek and he could dissolve his marriage.

"I would LOVE to do that but Finn doesn't want to wait. Keeps saying how he doesn't want to waste anymore time not having the world know I'm his. Like I'm a possession or something? What is it with men these days?" she spat. Cristina could see she was beginning to become annoyed, especially with the thought of Finn. 'Perfect' she thought.

"I don't think it's all men. I mean, look at Derek for example. He doesn't keep his wife on a leash, he let's her do as she pleases. He's relaxed, he flirts with women, he's respectable, he's"

"What? He flirts!" Meredith exclaimed completely shocked, cutting Cristina off from finishing her speech praising Derek.

"What, haven't you noticed?" she questioned as they came to the exam room door Derek and Izzie had entered earlier. Just as they reached the door, Izzie opened it laughing hysterically as she looked back at Derek. At the sight, Cristina snuck a peak at Meredith. Her face was raging red. A angry crease had formed on her forehead and her lips were pressed together tightly with rage. Chuckling quietly to herself she grabbed Izzie's hand, stating that she had to show her something and the pair quickly retreated from the area.

"Well," Cristina said when they had reached the main area of the set, "This better work."

"What are you talking about did you see her?! She was like a tomato face back there! Oh she's got the hot's for him real bad!" replied Izzie happily.

"Well, did it work?" asked Alex as he approached them

"See for yourself," Cristina said, nodding in the direction of the couple as Meredith violently pushed Derek into the exam room.

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	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the quoted dialogue from the show, that belongs to Shonda and ABC**

**Enjoy! I wrote a longer update this time! :D**

Enraged, Meredith pushed Derek back into the exam room with her small slender hands slapping against his chest. The smirk on his face fueled her anger and she continued pushing him back into the corner of the room.

"What!?" push

"The!" push

"Hell?!"

She shouted with a final push effectively trapping Derek as his back hit the hard corner of the wall with a loud thud, Meredith's body so close to his.

"What is wrong with you, flirting with other woman?! How could you hurt your wife like that? No wonder she keeps such a tight leash on you!" she yelled. Her voice was filled with such passion and anger that she almost didn't recognize it herself. She had never felt this rage towards someone before.

"You mean hurting YOU," he replied cheekily.

"What?" she asked slightly confused. She was expecting him to deny it, say how he could never show an interest in anyone other than his wife. After how he had abandoned her on the beach that day, he obviously loved Rose more than her. How she ever thought a married man would love someone else, love her, she didn't understand. Meredith silently cursed herself for that thought ever crossing her mind.

"You asked how I was hurting my wife when really what you meant to ask was how I could hurt you?"

At that question Meredith froze. What was she doing? Why did she care so much? It hit her then how much in denial she had been with herself. She had tried to push her feelings for him away and focus on Finn but they were still there, haunting her. She loved Derek Shepherd. But she could never tell him, not while he was married. Not while there was still a possibility that he would choose Rose over her.

"No! You're, you're not hurting me how could you think such a thing? I, I don't care about you…" Meredith trailed off weakly as she looked up into his piercing deep blue eyes. "I, I, I'm just putting myself in your wife's shoes. Yes, that's what I'm doing. If I was her I would feel so terrible to have my husband that I love ignoring me and looking at other women. Yes, that's it," she rambled, quickly looking down and directing her gaze to her feet. She was afraid that if she looked at him, she would lose all her self-control and pour her heart out to him.

Derek lifted his hand towards her face, delicately stroking her porcelain cheek and smiling, "You're so adorable. Who are you trying to convince Meredith, me or yourself?" he asked softly as he moved his hand along her jaw line and under her chin, lifting her face up to look at him. At that moment Meredith lost all self-control. At that moment she let go of the boundaries she had built between them. At that moment she forgot what was right and what was wrong. Without thinking she held onto Derek's thick, black curls and brought his mouth to hers. As soon as their lips met she felt a spark light between them, pulling the two star-crossed lovers together. Needing to be as close to him as possible she pushed him further back into the corner of the wall and wrapped her arms around his neck. His lips were firm and strong yet at the same time possessed a gentle, caring touch as they molded with hers. It was perfect. It was magical. It wasn't like their first kiss as Ellen and Patrick on the show, this was Meredith and Derek. She felt him try and push his tongue into her mouth and she gladly granted him access. His sweet tasting tongue battled with hers as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. Derek fought for power and swirled her around so she was pressed against the wall. As they kissed he slowly slid his hands down her thighs and lifted her. She wrapped her long slim and creamy legs around him tightly, as if she was holding on for her life. They couldn't get enough of each other. Her hands began to roam his strong hard body, making their way underneath his scrub top. Her fingers gripped his muscly bare back. He was perfection. Suddenly, Meredith could feel herself being set down on the exam room seat. She was so wrapped up in the feeling of Derek's body pressed against hers, his lips on hers, that she hadn't even noticed that he moved them away from the corner. His hands now free from the job of carrying her, Derek moved them up towards to her silky blonde hair. Running his fingers through it he latched on and gently pull her head back, exposing her velvety soft neck. He moved his lips away from hers, creating a row of warm wet kisses down and around her neck. Meredith's eyes rolled back in utter bliss. His feathery touch sending shivers down her spine. She could do nothing but run her own fingers through his dark locks, relishing in the feeling of his perfect hair in her hands. His kisses began to roam lower down her neck and onto her chest. Derek could feel her heart beating faster as he kissed and licked a warm trail down to the V of her scrub top and back up again. As he reached her face he looked up and smiled, his gaze penetrating deep though her eyes and into her soul. At that moment, Derek could tell that she was feeling for him that same as what he was feeling for her.

Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of his breathtaking smile. He was in pure happiness and bliss, just as she and he looked at her like she was the only woman in the world. Unable to handle the brief separation between his lips and her flesh, she began kissing him all around his face. Tasting and teasing, she kissed a pathway along his eyes, nose and cheeks, ending at his lips where she took them in hers. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist, she could feel his hard length pressing against her inner thigh as she began to grind her hips against him. They both began to push their white doctors coats off each other in an effort to remove as much distance as possible between their heating bodies. After tossing the coats to the ground Derek slid his hands up her torso under her shirt, a hand resting on the cups of her bra holding her breasts. She gasped at his touch. She wanted more. No. She needed more. Taking her hands off his back she quickly grasped the bottom of her shirt and lifted it over her head. Derek was dumb struck by her complete and utter beauty. Her every curve displayed for him to see. Well, almost every curve. Taking in her perfection with a smile he began covering her torso with more kisses, leaving no piece of skin untouched. As he reached one of her full breasts he sucked on it through the lacy fabric of her black bra. Meredith's heart began to race at the feeling and a surge of energy rushed through her. She needed to have his warm, chiseled bare chest pressed against hers. Quickly, she pulled away from him so she could lift his shirt over his head before running her hands over his perfect abs and chest. Her heart melted at the sight of him as she went back to covering her hands over every surface of his torso. She began pressing soft kisses down his neck and around his chest as he reached behind her to unclasp her bra. His mouth hungrily bent down to grab her breast, sucking and licking his tongue around her now pointy nipples. Meredith let out a throaty moan as he sucked harder on her breast and massaged the other in his large, strong hand. She was in pure heaven. No one had ever paid this much attention to pleasuring her. They were normally looking to pleasure themselves. Her core was dripping as she felt the urge for him to be inside her growing stronger. As Derek moved on to giving her other breast the same attention as the first she slid her hands lower down the front of his stomach and into his pants. Derek suddenly stiffened and let out a gasp as she massaged his balls in her hands.

At that moment he knew he had let it get too far. All his life, Derek had been an honorable man to his family, his child, his wife. Even though they had begun to drift away from each other, he couldn't bring himself to cheat. But he realized now how much he loved Meredith. And how much she loved him. As much as he wanted to hear it from her to confirm his assumptions, be believed the look in her eyes said it all. With all the self-control he could gather he pulled her perfect hands out from him and stepped back. He had to divorce his wife. He could no longer live in a loveless marriage, not when the love of his life was living just next door.

Meredith's heart stopped when he suddenly pulled away from her. Her tingling warm body was growing cold and empty due to the absence of his body pressed against her. She froze, suddenly realizing how far they had gone. She was cheating on her fiancé with a married man. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to feel guilty because it had felt so right. Being with Derek, she felt like she belonged. She began to walk towards him but he held his arms out on her shoulders, stopping her from coming too close. She was confused. She had noticed the look in his eyes as they kissed. It was stronger than any look she had received from Finn. His eyes were warm and filled with love. She longed to hear him say it to confirm her suspicions but as she looked into his eyes now, she couldn't. Instead of the warmth and happiness, there was guilt and confusion. She was crushed. He had obviously read him wrong. He didn't want to do this with her. Whipping her eyes away from his she began looking for her bra and scrub top.

"Meredith," Derek said in an attempt to get her to stop rushing around the room. She ignored him continuing to find her bra, which seemed to have gone missing in their haste. "Meredith!" she said more firmly catching her in his arms as she walked past.

"No! no!" she cried as she struggled to get out of his grasp. But it only made him hold her tighter, pulling her into a comforting hug. She slowly began to relax in his arms. Relishing in the feel of his warm chest once again pressed against her breasts. She clung to him and began to cry. She couldn't help it. She wanted him. She wanted him so much, but he kept pulling away from her. It made sense, he was married, but she couldn't help but feel abandoned.

"Meredith look at me," he said softly, again lifting her chin up and pressing his lips to hers in a gentle kiss, "I have to go."

Her heart broke in that second and she struggled to get words out of her mouth, "wha, what?" she croaked quietly.

"In order to kiss you the way I want to kiss you, in order to do more than kiss you, I need to speak to Rose. I want my conscious clear, so I can do more than just kiss you."

Meredith's heart fluttered uncontrollably in her chest. She was speechless. Did this really mean he had feelings for her like she did for him?

As if Derek read her mind he said, "I love you Meredith Grey." Leaning down, he wrapped his arms around her again and kissed her passionately. Her soft, tender lips covering his as her radiating floral scent filled his nostrils. He couldn't get enough of her. But he had to go. As he ended the kiss and pulled away Meredith rested her head on his chest and whispered, "I love you too."

* * *

"What do you think they're doing in there? It's been over half and hour!" exclaimed Izzie after finishing her lunch.

"Well I don't hear yelling. I'd say they McDreamy's doing the McNasty with Meredith," chuckled Alex.

"Or, she could have killed him and is now trying to make it look like an accident," joked Cristina. "But did you see her? She looked so fired up about that little flirting lie. She's got it so bad."

"Well I guess we'll find out soon, they're getting out." Whispered Izzie as she pointed in the direction of the exam room they had left them in.

Upon coming out they could definitely tell something physical had gone on between them. Derek's hair was no longer perfectly styled and Meredith's face was slightly flustered. But the most noticeable difference all was the spectacular smiles on their faces. They seemed so happy staring at each other as they walked out of the room. They didn't even seem to notice the group staring at them. They only had eyes on themselves.

"Alright everyone. Let's get back to work! Meredith! Derek! Quit making goo goo eyes at each other and get over here!" yelled the director. He chuckled to himself when he saw the dread on each of their faces after that comment. They had it bad for each other.

* * *

At the end of the day the whole cast celebrated together in a private function room near Prospect Studios. They had finished filming the first season of Pompeo's Anatomy and it felt good. They were all in need of a relaxing break. Derek and Meredith were especially excited having claimed their newfound love for each other. They couldn't show it to the world just yet, Derek needed to get a divorce and Meredith needed to break off her engagement with Finn. She knew a lot of people weren't going to be happy seeing as they had already paid for the reception, church, band, caterers and other various aspects that went into a wedding that Meredith had no idea about, but she couldn't care less. She had found the love of her life.

"So, Meredith, excited for your wedding!," Cristina asked as she walked up to her by the bar, snapping her out of her thoughts about Derek who was mingling with Mark and Richard, other cast members on the show.

"Oh ummm, yeah, sure," she said. As much as she wanted to tell Cristina, who was fast becoming her best friend, she didn't want to risk it. She and Derek had agreed not to pursue their relationship until his divorce was finalized.

"Oh you have that look on your face," Cristina said happily, "That look that screams 'I don't want to marry Finn because I love McDreamy!'" she added getting straight to the point. She needed to figure out whether their set up worked or not.

Meredith looked at her in shock. 'How did she know?' she thought to herself.

"Ha ha! And by the look on your face I'm going to assume that I'm right, right?"

"I…urrr..don't…." Meredith began to say, unable to get words out of her mouth.

"Yep! I'm right!" said Cristina happily as she bounced off, not wanting to wait and hear Meredith's excuses that she was wrong.

In a bit of a panic, Meredith went to find Derek. She had to let him know that someone knew, even if she didn't confirm it Cristina were under the impression that something was going on between them.

"Hey guys!" Meredith exclaimed happily to the three men. "I was just wondering if I could steal Derek away for a moment, Shannon wanted to talk to the both of us," Meredith lied, not wanting to raise any suspicion with Mark and Richard too. They each nodded their heads and smiled as Meredith pulled Derek through the crowded dance floor to a secluded corner on the opposite side of the room.

"Wow! You do know we can't make out at parties yet right?" Derek joked

"Shut up!" she said as she slapped him playfully on the chest. "This is a serious problem. Cristina knows. Well, I never confirmed anything but she's assuming there's something between us and she's right so basically she knows and..." Meredith was cut off from her rambling by Derek's finger pressed to her lips.

"Don't worry about it Mer. She has no proof and she's one of your closest friends. I'm sure she wouldn't spread the word." He said confidently, effectively calming Meredith down. "I wish I could kiss you right now," he sighed, taking his hand away from her mouth and gently stroking her arm closest to the wall.

Meredith melted into his touch, "I wish you could too."

Their moment was ruined by Derek's cell phone. Annoyed he quickly glanced at the text message:

_Where are you? You should be home by now! _

_-R_

Derek sighed. Quickly sending her a text back saying that he was coming home and needed to talk to her.

"That was Rose. I'm gonna tell her tonight Mer."

"Are you sure Derek? Are you completely sure about this because I don't want to break up your family, I don't want to be a home wrecker and…"

He silenced her again with his finger on her lips and stated calmly, "I have never been more sure of anything in my life Mer. I love you. And you're not a home wrecker. Our home was wrecked long before you came along."

"I love you too. And I'm going to break it off with Finn. Wanna meet at the Roosevelt when we do? I'm sure they'll kick us out," she chuckled.

"That sounds perfect!" Derek exclaimed with a smile as he looked into her shining green eyes. Their moment was again interrupted by Derek's cell phone:

_I'm waiting!_

_-R_

It read. Derek sighed again, "I'd better go. The sooner I get this done the better. I'll see you soon," he said with a smile, leaning in to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. Meredith's eyes closed for a moment, relishing in his warm touch. She didn't want him to leave.

"See you later," she replied as he walked out.

An hour later Meredith was getting ready to leave the party. After Derek left she wasn't in the mood to go home to Finn just yet so she danced with Cristina and Izzie while downing some shots of tequila. It was great to be able to have fun with her girl friends. As they were saying their good byes Meredith's phone rung for the tenth time in her pocket. Finally annoyed by the ringing from the unknown number Meredith quickly answered it.

"Hello, Meredith speaking" she said in an annoyed tone.

"Finally! I'm Dr. Altman do you know a Derek Shepherd?" The woman said, sounding quite distressed

"Yes, what's this about?" she replied suddenly interested at the mention of Derek's name.

"He's been in a terrible accident and is being pulled into emergency brain surgery. It's serious. The paramedics said he kept uttering your name. We think it's best that you come to Los Angeles Grace soon." The doctor hung up and Meredith was frozen in place. Derek Shepherd, the love of her life was in an accident. The person she loves life was hanging in the balance and she couldn't do a thing about it.

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	14. Chapter 14

**HERE'S MY NEW UPDATE!**

**And don't worry guys, I would NEVER kill off Derek! I love him too much lol :D**

"WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S DEREK!" Shouted Meredith as she rushed up to the ICU nurses station of Los Angeles Grace Hospital. The nurse looked at her stunned for a moment before asking for his last name and checking the computer. Meredith waiting impatiently for the nurse to provide her with Derek's room number. After rushing to the hospital having had received the call from Dr Altman Meredith was in panic mode. The adrenaline that rushed through her veins caused her to be alert and quick and she refused to rest until Derek was safe.

"Ummm, I'm sorry but it looks like I can't disclose that information to you unless you're a relative. His wife was very specific," said the nurse, worrying that she would make the agitated woman in front of her lash out.

Meredith thought frantically. She had to get in there, and it seemed that the nurse didn't know who she was. She could lie. Yes, she would lie. She had to get into the room and be there for him when he woke up, even if Rose would be there too. She had to. They loved each other.

"Yes! I'm family yes!..err…I'm, I'm his sister Kathleen Shepherd. Now please let me go see my brother," Meredith lied frantically, hoping the nurse wouldn't pick up the slight hesitation in her voice. Improv was not her best acting skill of all time. She felt relief when the nurse nodded and lead her down a bright corridor laced with doors to different patient rooms.

"Here we are, Derek Shepherd," said the nurse quietly as she opened the door and gestured for Meredith to walk in.

The sight before her was devastating. She gasped when she saw his head covered in bandages, cuts scattered across his face, chest and arms and tubes coming out of him hooked up to a heart monitor, IV and other machines Meredith hadn't learnt the name of yet from the show. His usually warm, tanned skin was pale and he lay there like an empty shell. The only sounds in the room was the steady beeping of the heart monitor and Rose's weeping as she sat on a chair beside Derek's bed, her head down and hand squeezing his. Rose didn't respond as Meredith made her way slowly towards the opposite side of the bed while the nurse retreated out of the room closing the door. Tears began to fill her eyes, bursting from them like a waterfall. Her love, her soul mate, was lying there looking as lifeless as ever. She took comfort in the sound of the heart monitors that used to annoy her senseless while at work. It was the only thing reminding her that Derek was still alive. It had only been just a few hours before where she had been safely held in his arms, relaxed and happy. But now as she held his cold hand she felt even more devastation rush over her. Looking up at Rose through her water filled eyes she asked if she knew what happened.

"Ca, car, car accident," she croaked, "he, he, was driving home from that end of season party of yours when a truck ran a red light and smashed right into his car, they said the truck squashed him right into a telegraph pole, knocking his head in the process. They took him for emergency surgery where they found his hippocampus was effected."

"Wha…What does that mean," Meredith stammered, recognizing the name from the show but not quite remembering what it was.

"It means he may have lost some of his long term memory!" she cried out as she once again burst into tears at his side.

Meredith froze. Her knowledge from the show came back to her. The hippocampus was important for 'episodic memory' in other words, to recall ones experiences. 'NO!' she thought, 'no, no, no, no, no!' was all that went through her mind as she burst into tears as well, grabbing onto his had like it was her life line. What if he forgot her? She couldn't bring herself to think about that possibility, the idea of it killed her and she didn't want to tackle it until she had to, if she had to.

"Wh..wha, what are you doing here," Rose asked suddenly, realizing that she had requested that only family be allowed into the room at this time.

"I needed to see him. I needed to make sure he was alive," Meredith croaked, not bothering to look up at her and instead staring at Derek's broken face.

Rose felt anger rush though her. Who did this woman think she was, crying over her husband like she herself was? Why did she care so much? Then it hit her. Rose's suspicions about Meredith and her husband were confirmed. She loved him, or at least had strong feelings about him. Breathing heavily to control her anger Rose looked up at Meredith. She saw it all there in Meredith's eyes, she loved her husband, Meredith no doubt was the one that was pulling Derek away from her, from their perfect marriage. Suddenly, the thought of Derek possibly losing his memory wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe they could go back to the way things where. Just before Rose could say anything to get Meredith out of the room the doctor walked in.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Altman and I'll be Derek's doctor," said the woman as she walked in, noticing Meredith at Derek's side. "Rose have you noticed any changes since I was last here?"

"No, no I haven't. Is that bad?" she asked.

"Well it's not bad, but it's not good either. The brain's a powerful thing, we don't know much about it compared to the other organs. We'll just have to wait and keep checking his vitals and hope that he wakes up."

"Hope that he wakes up! HOPE HE WAKES UP! Is that all you can say? What type of doctor are you?" Meredith intervened shouting violently. She was angry, she was hurting and she lost control. It made her so furious to think that they couldn't do anything for him. That all they could do was nothing but sit and wait.

"Yes madam, sorry but we've done the work, now we just have to wait for Derek to do his part," Dr Altman said before pausing and asking, "Who are you anyway?"

Before Meredith could get a word in Rose interrupted and shouted that Meredith was his co-worker.

"Ok well if that's the case I don't know how you got in here but you're going to have to go to the waiting room," replied Dr Altman reluctantly. She could tell from her very first glance at the woman that she genuinely cared deeply for her patient, but rules were rules.

With a cold death stare directed to Rose Meredith slowly left Derek, squeezing his hand before letting go and walking out of the room. She wanted to kiss him so badly, even if he wasn't awake to know she did it, it just felt like the natural thing to do. But she had to hold back. She had already risked having their secret discovered by Rose because of her radical response to Derek's accident and she couldn't have anyone knowing about their relationship until they were ready.

As she made her way towards the waiting room she saw little Tallulah sitting on a seat hugging her legs to her chest and rocking slightly. It seemed the little girl hadn't been told anything. She was just left there, unattended. At the sight, Meredith's insides began to boil. How could a mother just leave her child alone at a time like this? Meredith was even more disgusted with Rose than she had ever been. The neglect she had for her daughter sickened her. Taking a deep breath to control her anger, Meredith walked towards Tallulah and sat beside her in the chair, putting her arm around her shoulders for comfort. At Meredith's touch, Tallulah was taken out of her trance like state and turned to look her in the eyes. Meredith was heart broken at what she saw. Always, Tallulah had been a happy, bright and enthusiastic child. She had always made people smile with her positive and innocent outlook on life and her blue eyes like her fathers showed her love for the people around her. Not today. Today Meredith could see her once bright blue eyes and bubbly personality was gone, replaced by fear and worry. Two things a child should never have to experience at this stage in their life. The tears the dripped down her cheeks broke Meredith and she hugged her closely and Tallulah collapsed crying in her arms. When she finally began to stop Meredith explained Derek's state to her as simple as she could. She wasn't sure if Tallulah fully grasped the concept of what could possibly happen to her father if he woke up, or if he didn't, but she could tell that being in the know was helping Tallulah. She chuckled slowly to herself; she was the exact same way. After some minutes of silence Tallulah climbed out of her chair and onto Meredith's lap. She was surprised at the sudden gesture but welcomed it whole-heartedly. She quite frankly needed the comfort to take her thoughts away from Derek, or at least make them slightly more bearable, as devastating as they were.

"Meredith, can I go see daddy now?" asked Tallulah as she lifted her head off Meredith's chest to look into her eyes. Meredith's heart broke for a moment, instantly making the connection to Derek's eyes that she never could resist.

"I think your mummy's with him at the moment sweetie. She'll come and get you when she's ready," Meredith said, trying to mask the sadness as well as disgust she had for Rose in her voice.

"But I really, really, really need to see him now! I need to kiss him better. Daddy always does that for me."

Unable to resist the child's charm Meredith lifted her off her lap and held her hand, leading her to her father's hospital room. As she opened the door she could see Rose hadn't moved from her spot on Derek's side. She was sitting on the same seat only this time she was asleep, her upper body draped across Derek's bed. With a sigh of relief Meredith looked behind her to make sure no one saw them go inside before leading her to the opposite side of the bed. She didn't like the thought of Tallulah seeing her father in this state but she knew that she was better off knowing than being lied to.

"We have to be really quiet so we don't wake up your daddy ok T," whispered Meredith.

"Ok Meri," nodded Tallulah before climbing onto the bed at her father's side and kissing his cheek gently. "Get better soon daddy. I miss you," she whispered into his ear before collapsing into a fit of tears. Meredith quietly picked her up from her father's side and sat on a couch in the room, hugging Tallulah tight in her arms. Meredith wanted so desperately to cry along with her but she felt she had to be strong of the little girl in her arms. At this very moment in time she didn't have a parental figure to look to for comfort so she needed to be strong. Tallulah was Meredith's only concern at this moment. As she held Tallulah they both lay down on the couch and began to drift off to sleep…

* * *

_"You cheated missy!" Exclaimed Ellis before she reached over to her 7 year old daughter and ticked her stomach. _

_"STOP…MOMMY, STOP!" she shouted in between giggles. "I didn't…I, I, I promise I didn't!" she continued, trying to find words to come out as she laughed uncontrollably. _

_"Oh yeah? Then why has my iron moved back a few places onto one of YOUR houses?" Ellis said, trying to sound stern and hide the smile on her face at her daughter. She loved these moments. The moments when she could forget about her troubles, forget what was going on in her life and just have fun with her beautiful child. _

_"Well…" 7-year-old Meredith hesitated, "You, you, got confused. It was always there." She said sternly with a nod. _

_"Meredith," Ellis said with concern. "What have I told you time and time again?"_

_"To never lie. It's better for the other person to know the truth," Meredith said proudly, happy that she remembered one of the many things her mother had been teaching her over the past few months. _

_"That's right. Now, is there something you want to tell me?" _

_"Ok, I moved your monopoly piece. I just wanted to win once!" Meredith wined, giving in to her mother. _

_Ellis smiled. She was happy with how her daughter was quickly learning. She didn't have much time left and she wanted to teach her as much as she could before she was gone. _

_"Meredith, it's not all about winning. Sometimes, it's the way you play the game. Concentrate on that and maybe, you might just end up winning without even trying."_

_"Mom, you're talking in that weird code old people talk in! I don't understand what you just said." She responded confused. Ever since her mother had been admitted to hospital she had been telling Meredith all these 'words of wisdom' as Ellis liked to call it. Meredith didn't understand it though. She had hope that her mother would pull through and fight this cancer. She had always been so strong. Ellis was Meredith's idol, her everything. She could fight it. _

_"You will understand in time my dear. Eventually, you will understand in time," said Ellis as she stroked her daughters cheek and pulled her to sit beside her on the hospital bed rather than on the chair she had been residing. _

_"You're going to be alright mommy, you will get through this. I know you will!" Said Meredith happily as they sat there together._

_"Oh, and what makes you so sure of that?"_

_"Cause you're superwoman! You can do anything!" Meredith exclaimed. Ellis couldn't help but laugh at her daughter's enthusiasm. She wanted to believe her so badly but she couldn't bring herself to get her hopes up, and it killed her to think that she would most likely disappoint her daughter. _

_"I love you Meredith," her mother said softly looking into her daughters deep green eyes, her father's eyes._

_"I love you too mom," she said as she leaned in to give her mother a hug. _

_'BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP' the monitors suddenly began to go crazy just as they were pulling out of their embrace. Meredith didn't know what to do. Her mother had suddenly gone stiff, eyes rolling back into her head and she was twitching and moving uncontrollably. _

_"Help! HELP!" She yelled when she got over her shock. Quickly nurses and a doctor ran into the room with a defibrillator and Meredith was picked up off the bed and pushed to the side. She cried out loudly for her mother as doctors and nurses surrounded her, doing all they could to save their patient. She was carried out kicking and screaming by a nurse, tears pouring out of her eyes. _

_"No! NO! TAKE ME BACK, TAKE ME BACK!" she yelled as they shocked her heart. _

_Just as she was taken outside of the room she heard the doctors say, "Time of death, 4:32pm"_

_Meredith cried out in agony. She couldn't accept that her treasured mother, he mother who had just been laughing and giggling with her was gone. Violently pulling herself out from the nurse's grasp and ignoring her father's shouts as he headed through the hallway with their afternoon snacks Meredith ran back to her mother's side. Only, she didn't see her mother. It was Derek, lying cold and lifeless on the bed. His beautiful face was covered in horrendous scars and bandages on his head covered his soft velvety hair. Her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest. This wasn't right. She was meant to see her mother in the bed, not the love of her life. _

_"NO! NO, NO, NO!" _

* * *

"NO!" she shouted as her eyes burst open and she sat up from the couch. Looking around she saw Tallulah stirring in her sleep on the couch next to her, Derek on the bed in front of her and not a glimpse of Rose in sight. She sighed with relief when she heard the heart monitors making the steady beeping noise. It was just a dream. She thought to herself. Just a dream…

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	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long since my last update, I suffered from a case of writers block :( anyway, hope you like this next one...I tried to make it longer to make up for the wait lol :D**

_One week later…_

Meredith had been living in the hospital for a week. She was tired from lack of sleep. She was always hungry because she could barley force herself to eat the terrible hospital food and she was worried that Derek wasn't going to wake up. The day after he had been in hospital she called Finn to post-pone the wedding. She didn't want to cancel just yet, she needed to know that Derek was safe and could still follow through with their plan to be together. She had a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that Derek wouldn't remember her and she didn't want to end up alone. She knew it was selfish, leading Finn along when she knew in her heart that she had no intentions of marrying him but she needed his comfort. If anything, he was a good friend in a crisis. He wasn't happy with her decision to push the wedding date back but her excessive crying and pleading over Derek as well as the media attention this was getting made him agree. He didn't want to look like the ass that didn't care about his fiancé's best friend. He never said anything but she knew he suspected something more than friendship between her and Derek, her broken hearted demeanor clearly gave it away. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to care. She needed Derek; he was her lifeline, the only person that made her truly happy.

Rose had lifted her rule of 'family only' soon after Derek's family arrived in LA from Maine. She had to keep up her friendly, wifely appearance in front of them. She didn't want them to suspect her insecurities within their marriage. So when Meredith turned up at his door while his family was inside, she had to grin and bare it. She immediately regretted her decision when Derek's mother accepted Meredith into her arms graciously complementing her on the amazing on screen chemistry she had with her son on the show. She was even more shocked when his mother invited Meredith to have lunch with them at the hospital while they waited for Derek and when Tallulah begged to join them instead of staying with her in Derek's room. Rose had been different to Tallulah ever since Derek was hospitalized. It was like she replaced her obsession with work beforehand to fixate over Derek, again leaving Tallulah alone in the dark. It was good that Rose was showing that she cared for her husband but it disgusted Meredith when it meant that she was neglecting her own daughter. This of course, left the role of looking after Tallulah to Meredith, something Rose hadn't noticed until Derek's family distracted her from staring at Derek all day. It was then that Rose realized that instead of sitting by her mother at Derek's bedside, she sat with Meredith and rather than asking her questions about her father she sought advice from Meredith. So when Tallulah jumped at the chance to have lunch with Derek's family and Meredith, Rose was fuming and for the first time in a week, she left Derek's bedside to try and win Tallulah as well as Derek's family back, pushing Meredith away for good.

"Dear, are you sure that you don't want to go to a restaurant or somewhere for lunch? You've been living off this hospital food for a week I'm sure it's probably leaving you more hungry than not," Carolyn Shepherd, Derek's mother, chuckled to Meredith as they entered the cafeteria in the hospital.

"I'm getting used to it. Besides I want to be close when Derek wakes up, if he wakes up…I've already asked the nurses to call me when…if…he does. But you guys can feel free to go somewhere, you don't need to stay with me," replied Meredith.

She was starting to lose hope but needed to show she was strong and as much as she wanted to hide it, she couldn't bare the thought of Derek's family leaving alone her yet. She enjoyed their company, his sisters were comforting and his mother was very protective and caring. Something she wasn't used to after having lost her own mother when she was a child.

"Nonsense! We couldn't leave you alone here dear. Plus, we want to be here for when he wakes up too. Which he will, he will wake up. I have faith in Derek, he's a fighter. He never gave up on landing an acting role and look at him now!" she said smiling, though the smile didn't reach her eyes. Meredith could see that she was so proud of her son's accomplishments yet even his mother had a seed of doubt planted in her eyes.

"I hope you're right," Meredith said as she and Carolyn headed to a table after collecting some food, the rest of the family following behind them.

She really wanted Carolyn to be right. She was in her own personal hell every time she was alone in the room with Derek, and Rose who continued to glare at her every now and again. In the beginning Rose would continue to pester her, trying to get her to leave but Meredith wouldn't budge. This was the love of her life. She wouldn't leave his side because of his soon to be ex-wife, she would leave on her own terms to eat, sleep or comfort Tallulah, but not because of Rose. She didn't want to give her the satisfaction.

She was grateful for her bonding time with Tallulah. Meredith was beginning to really love that child and she couldn't understand why Rose wasn't paying her any attention. She noticed the distance that was building between them and even tried to encourage Tallulah to sit with Rose when they were in Derek's room but she would always refuse. Tallulah was scared of Rose. She said that she had a look about her, a scary look when she was sitting by her daddy's bedside. It was almost stalker like and possessive.

"So Meredith, how much longer are you going to make us wait to watch you walk down the isle? I'm sure that fiancé of yours is anxious to have you all to himself," smirked Rose as they all sat down at a table, pulling Meredith out of her thoughts. She could hear the smug, almost playful tone in her voice, like she thought she knew something.

"You're engaged? How come you never told us?" Derek's sister Kathleen questioned, trying to hide the disappointed tone in her voice. She liked Meredith and for the past few weeks had thought that there was something going on between her brother and his costar. She never liked Rose so she had hoped her suspicions were true so they could be rid of her for good. At the sound of this however, all her hopes were shattered.

"Oh it's only been in ALL the magazines. Just because I've been living by Derek's bedside doesn't mean I don't hear the gossip. That stuff is all I ever hear from the nurses!" replied Rose before Meredith had a chance to say anything.

Meredith glared at Rose quickly before she spoke, "Yes, I am but I…I'm not sure it's going to work out. For, for now anyway…I, I, I want to wait a bit longer, incase Derek gets better. I want to be there for him," Rose gave her a death stare before Meredith stuttered, "A, as, as his, urrr, friend. His best friend."

"It's so nice to see you value your friendship with my son dear. He never had a close friend growing up…well except…he never had a close friend." Carolyn finished. She didn't want to go into too much detail about her son's past, she thought this was something he should tell Meredith if he wanted to share. He did have a close best friend when he was younger, but he lost him and it left a hole in her son's heart for years.

"Ummm excuse me, wife and best friend sitting right here!" exclaimed Rose.

They all stared at her with a blank expression for a moment. Obviously Rose either didn't realize or chose to ignore how distant she and Derek had become over the past few years.

"But daddy always said I was his bestest friend in the whole entire world! He said I was his princess!" exclaimed Tallulah before moving to sit on Meredith's lap and adding, "He said Meri and me were both his princesses!"

Meredith was surprised as Tallulah wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. Everybody began to chuckle softly and smile at the sight. To anyone passing by, it looked like a child hugging her mother.

"Oops!" Tallulah added after a moment before burring her face in the crook of Meredith's neck.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Meredith said calmly and she rubbed soft comforting circles on Tallulah's back.

"Daddy said I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that. He said it was a secret," she whispered loudly.

The whole family chuckled. Any doubt Kathleen and Carolyn had regarding Meredith and Derek's relationship because of Meredith's engagement was gone. There was definitely something between them that was more than friendship if he said things like that to his daughter.

Rose began to grow with rage only realizing at that moment how much her husband and her daughter were wrapped under Meredith's spell. She looked at Carolyn and Kathleen who were smiling at Meredith and her daughter lovingly. She couldn't take this. Derek was hers. Tallulah was hers. Over the past few weeks before the accident she had done everything in her power to be as attentive to Derek as she could and he still didn't even acknowledge her, even to his own daughter. All those times she brought lunch to the set, or snuck into his trailer or discreetly followed him around the city when he went out on weekends to make sure nothing bad happened to him, none of it seemed to matter to him. He should be calling her his princess, not Meredith. She took a deep breath and finally decided the reveal the information about Meredith she had discovered from her private detective months before.

"Ha! That's the biggest joke I've heard! Tallulah sweetie I think daddy was mistaken because I don't think princesses had criminal records."

Everybody snapped their heads up at Rose in an instant.

"Excuse me," Meredith remarked coldly. No one was supposed to know about this part of her past. It was a time in her life where she had been in a dark and twisty place and everyday she fought to forget it. It was the one aspect of her life that she was ashamed of.

"Oh you know, how you killed that teenager," Rose smirked in a casual tone, as if it was a well-known fact.

Meredith began to boil up inside. Rose was not supposed to know about Mark. No one was supposed to know about Mark. The records had been sealed. How on earth did Rose know? Meredith, now feeling all eyes at the table on her, gently lifted Tallulah from her lap and placed her on an empty seat before leaning in front of Rose and screaming, "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Meredith then burst into tears. The horrified looks on the faces of Derek's family and Tallulah terrified her. "I'm sorry, I, I…it's not what you think, I…I have to go…" she choked out through the waterfall that was pouring out of her eyes. She looked at Rose who was sitting in her seat smugly, happy to be causing her such pain. With one last whisper that she was sorry she ran out of the cafeteria as fast as she could. She didn't know where she was going to go, she just had to get away from them. She needed time to heal, and she needed to explain to Derek's family the entire story. She didn't want them thinking she was a killer. She continued sobbing, running into the empty elevator and pressing a button to a random floor, not even looking at it and she pressed her head against the wall. She didn't normally lose this much control. Normally she could show her tough side at least until she was alone. But this had been different, it was the hurt look in Tallulah's eyes that broke her, mixed with Rose's smug ones. It caused a mixture of devastation and anger surge through her body, and she didn't know how to cope, so she ran. That's what she did. She was an avoider. As the doors to the elevator opened she continued to run through the corridors, stopping suddenly at Derek's door. She had gone to his room without even realizing. Sighing she went in. She needed his comfort right now, even if he couldn't talk, even if he probably couldn't hear her, even if he couldn't respond and hold her. She just needed to be in the same room as the love of her life. Slumping over to the bed she lay down next to Derek, careful to not touch any of the chords attached to him. Placing her head on his cold hard chest, she cried listening to his heartbeat…

* * *

He felt a presence. He had always felt a presence by his side but it had never been this close, this comfortable. He was warm. He didn't know who it was but it was nice. He would be quite content to lay here with this person's presence next to him for the rest of his life. He was peaceful. He was happy. He wanted to wrap his arms around this presence and have it consume him. He smiled at the thought, although he couldn't actually feel his lips move. 'Huh?' he thought, confused. He tried again, willing his mouth to turn up to create a smile. Nothing. He decided to concentrate his thoughts on the person next to him. Slowly, his senses began to heighten from their numb, lifeless state. He could feel dampness on his chest. It was moist. Was he wet from sweat?

As he concentrated more he could feel the weight of something to the left of his chest, and pulling. The wet cloth of his shirt was wrapped up in what he believed to be small ineffectual fists. He felt soft fabric underneath his fingers and his head was propped up on what he believed to be a pillow. He was in bed. He now knew that much. But how did he get here? He filtered his brain to trying to think of the last thing that happened in his life that he could remember. Vivid flashes of light filled his brain. Memories pulsed in and out forming different pieces of a puzzle. A devastating scream, a loud bang, and pain. Lots of pain. Yes, the last thing he remembered was his best friend being hit by a car in the night as he ran away from Derek because of a fight over his girlfriend. Emotion ran though him then. Was his friend dead? Where there survivors? Was the person driving the car that hit him rotting in hell? His heart rate began to increase as millions of questions about the accident ran through his mind. He needed to get out of bed. He needed answers. Fighting to regain complete consciousness he tried to lift his head. Beeping of a machine began to grow louder and louder, pulling him out of his state of unconsciousness. Annoyed by the noise, it gave him even more motivation to pull himself out of bed and stop it, but he couldn't seem to get his eyes to open. He couldn't see anything. He could just feel and hear. Suddenly, he was reminded by the presence next to him. Short muffled cries were being made on his chest. Tears. It was tears that made his clothing feel wet. But who was this crying next to him? Even though he didn't know who it was he felt the need to comfort the stranger. She obviously knew who he was. Maybe it was Addison? The girl he and his best friend had been fighting over that night. Derek's heart began to beat faster as he convinced himself that this was the case. He had to open his eyes. He had to find out why she was crying. Had his friend not survived?

Starting to go into panic mode now the adrenaline building in his system gave him the strength to finally pull himself out of his mind and open his eyes.

'Urrr," he groaned in shock. The room was too bright and he felt a piercing pain in his head when he was exposed to the brightness before him. Suddenly, the person next to him froze. The sounds of the sobs stopped.

"Derek," he heard an unfamiliar yet beautiful voice chime in his ear. "Derek, are you awake?"

"Urrgg…" he managed to groan in response. He was now exhausted at just trying to make that one noise. What was wrong with him?

"Oh my gosh Derek you're awake!" the lovely female voice exclaimed. He smiled. Her voice was like music to his ears.

"Der, can you open your eyes? Der?" she whispered as her fingers stroked his face with the softness of a feather.

He had to find out who this mystery woman was. It probably was just Addison sounding different because of what had just happened. With the little energy he could gather, he slowly opened his eyes again to adjust to the light. He gasped as a stunning pair of green eyes staring into his met him. Hope and happiness burst through them. He had never seen eyes so enchanting. He couldn't look away. This was definitely not Addison.

"I love you," she said as she gently pressed her lips to his for a soft kiss. His eyes widened. He relished in her soft touch but why was she kissing him? He was with Addison. Did he have an affair when he was drunk one night and didn't know about it? As she pulled back she looked into his eyes again. They captivated him, but he didn't know this woman. Waiting a moment he finally gathered the strength to ask, "Who are you?" before collapsing his head back onto the bed and shutting his eyes in exhaustion. The last thing he heard being the extremely fast beeping sounds of his heart monitor…

**Hehehe...**

**Review, Review, Review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys! Hope you like the new update!**

**Just so you know, I'm going back to uni next week so there may be a lot of time between my updates, but don't worry, I won't forget about you! However, I will try to get at least one other update posted before next week :D xoxo**

Meredith began to panic. She stood over him frozen in place as the beeping on the heart monitor increased rapidly. Her worst nightmare had come true. He didn't know who she was. The sound of a flat line broke her out of her trance as she searched the wall above the bed for the code blue button. If there was one thing she had learned from working on the show, it was what to do when someone was coding. Quickly she reached over him to push it, nurses almost instantly rushing into the room with a defibrillator.

"What happened?" one of them shouted to Meredith as they got the paddles ready.

"Umm, he..urr…woke, he woke up and then he, he, he coded," Meredith struggled to say amongst her ragged breaths and panicking heart. He could possibly die today, right now, right in front of her and he didn't even know who she was. Sobs and loud cries escaped her as she fought to get closer to him, to see him. He shouldn't die alone. Even if he didn't realize who she was, she couldn't let him die with just nurses around him.

"Charge to 200," Dr Altman calmly spoke. "Clear" she said as she shocked his heart, his chest arching up off the bed from the force. "Ok, lets push another round of epi…charge to 250…clear" she said as she again shocked him. No change.

"No, no!" Meredith shouted as she was forced out of the room by some nurses. Tears streamed down her eyes like rain in a storm as her chest tightened, making it harder for her to breathe. This was the love of her life. They had both wasted so much time fighting against what they had, what they felt for each other, and now it could all be gone forever. At least if he had forgotten her she would be able to get to know him again, now, if they couldn't revive him she wouldn't get a chance. She had lost her chance. Crying even more she walked to the window of his room looking at the doctor as they shocked him again. "Nooo, no no…Derek!" she shouted as she pounded her fist into the window.

Derek's family was walking down the corridor; Tallulah ran ahead and latched onto Meredith's waist, hugging her close as tears began to flow down her eyes when she realized what was happening. Derek's mother gasped in shock and placed her hand on Meredith's shoulder as she too began to sob uncontrollably, looking at her son through the window as the doctors continued to try and revive him. Kathleen came to Meredith's other side also sobbing for her brother. But Meredith didn't notice any of it. She was in her own world; helpless to doing anything to help save the man she loved. The man she had wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Rose was trying to get into the room hysterically screaming to get to Derek, scratching and punching the nurses that tried to stop her. This was not supposed to happen. He was supposed to wake up, not remember Meredith, she would turn him against her and she'd take Derek and Tallulah far away, away from their family and friends so she could live out the rest of her life with her obsession, her love. Nothing was supposed to come in the way of that. So, in her hysteric state Rose pulled out a small pocket knife from back pocket that she kept for emergencies, stabbing the large male nurse in front of the door in the abdomen. She had to get to Derek.

It was the nurse's loud whale that snapped Meredith out of her cloud of sorrow and panic. She gasped when she saw blood pouring out from the nurses stomach as he fell to the ground. Rose had already made it to Derek's room, the other nurses letting her go when she held the knife up in front of them. She was crazy. Meredith could understand that someone would go crazy in this situation, hell, she was in hysterics too. But never, would she threaten someone with a weapon and actually use it. At that moment, she knew her suspicions were correct. There was something seriously wrong with Rose Shepherd and she had to keep Derek away from her, whether he knew who she was or not. Looking around she noticed another doctor was dragging the nurse that had been stabbed away to be treated while she saw the security men running down the corridor. Quickly she ran to another one of the nurses and asked for a sedative, just as she saw through the window Rose attacking the security men that had tried to get her out of the room. Everything was happening so fast. One second she was alone with Derek, the next he was coding while Rose was trying to take out anyone who got in her way of Derek. She was nuts, and Meredith needed to stop her. Running into the room needle in hand she charged towards Rose who had just turned back to Derek and stabbed the sedative into her neck. She swayed for a few seconds before she dropped to the floor. Meredith let her fall, wanting to get away from the woman. She couldn't understand why Derek would marry such a manic.

Suddenly everything was quiet. There was the feeling of relief in the room. The only noise that filled her head was the steady beeping of the heart monitor. Derek's heart monitor. He was alive. Letting out a deep breath she didn't even know she was holding she ran to Derek's bedside, clutching onto his hand. He was alive.

* * *

Meredith sat by his bedside everyday. She spent her days crying over Derek when he was asleep and trying to help him get his memories back when he was awake. She was exhausted but she couldn't leave him alone. She had to spend what time she could with him before he was let out of the hospital and left her. They were getting along well, but they were still just acquaintances in his eyes. She could tell by the distance she saw in his blue eyes when he looked at her.

Carolyn being there was helping. He remembered his mom and her presence seemed to always calm him down. Meredith was surprised Carolyn let her near her son as she knew next to nothing about her, for all Carolyn knew, she could be as crazy as Rose whom Meredith assumed she had known well. But, every morning Carolyn would wake her up from her spot on the couch in Derek's room to bring her breakfast from the coffee shop down the street and every morning they would sit in silence eating it until Derek woke up. It had been five days now and bits of Derek's memory was coming back to him, but they were always from his past and never from his recent time on Grey's since he met her.

He was always asking about Rose. His memories of when he had first fallen for her were coming back rapidly. It always felt like a needle in her heart when he asked for her yet she couldn't bear to tell him that Rose had been sent up to the physic floor. His eyes lit up every time he spoke of her and she didn't want to bring him down. She still had hope however. She could see in those beautiful blue eyes that they didn't light up as much as they did when he had been with her all those weeks ago. She didn't know what he was thinking but she still liked to believe he had feelings for her. It was the little things he did, the jokes, always giving her any flowers or gifts that were meant for him, claiming that they should go to a beautiful woman rather than a sick man.

Every morning and every night they would sit together in his hospital room and watch Pompeo's Anatomy. It was her attempt to get him to remember her and the stolen moments they used to have together behind the scenes. This was her favorite time of day, as she would lie next to him on his bed. It was the only time she felt safe, and every time she could almost feel the strong sparks flying and the electricity in the air at their touch. She had no idea if he felt it, but she welcomed it anyway. It was better than the emptiness she suffered from most of the time.

Tallulah had it hard. Meredith could see it, plain and simple. Her dad didn't remember her and Meredith could see the growing water in her eyes every time he asked her a question about her that he should have already known. Tallulah visited her father everyday after school and spent the rest of the time with Carolyn who was caring for her granddaughter in Derek's house. Meredith did her best to visit Tallulah as much as she could. She needed another familiar person in her life, having her mother away from her too. Truth was, Tallulah was afraid. She was afraid that her mother would come after her like she did to the nurses at the hospital. She had witnessed the entire horrific event and was now frightened to death. Carolyn had told Meredith that she woke up most nights screaming and sweating from nightmares. They were always the same. Tallulah was crying over her father's dead body and Rose came up behind her to stab her. It was terrible to have a young, 5 year old girl suffer such a horrific event and the only thing Meredith could do was try and be there for her. Again, she didn't tell Derek that his daughter was suffering. Of course he realized that she was in pain about the fact that he didn't remember her but he didn't need to know the rest. He was fast getting attached to his daughter and Meredith believed that in a few weeks, they would be back to how they were, without the knowledge of their past memories of course.

Finn had been a problem. He was agitating Meredith to no end, continuously encouraging her to come back home to him and have their wedding. It amused her that he hadn't gotten the message that she was no longer interested in him. She ignored his calls, walked in the opposite direction when she saw him coming down the hospital hallway and when she was cornered by him and had no other choice but to speak, she only gave one-word answers, never looking him in the eye. As time went on the calls and visits to the hospital were becoming less and less however they weren't stopping and Meredith didn't know what to do. Not when she had Derek, Tallulah and Rose to worry about.

There was another week until Derek was due to be discharged and another two before they expected Rose to get better and be released. She had apparently resisted to no end during the first few days of her treatment but was now fully cooperating. Meredith was concerned towards her sudden mood change. No one could suddenly change their minds and stop resisting over night, but, the doctors seemed to think it was because all the adrenaline had been drained from her system by that time and apparently it could make people change in an instant. In the back of her mind, Meredith still didn't believe it, but there was nothing much that she could do at this point which angered her more than ever. Fortunately none of Rose's victims had died so there had been no charges made against her, especially since the doctors were able to say that the episode could have been a result of her grief. This made Meredith fuming. All she wanted was Rose gone for good, and for Derek to either remember or to see Rose for who she truly was, which Meredith believed was the crazy person that stabbed the nurses to get to him.

On the sixth day since Rose's little 'episode' Meredith walked into his room after retrieving lunch to find him talking and laughing with Rose. He was sitting up on his hospital bed, his arms resting on either side of him and one, in both of Rose's hands. She was wearing a hospital gown and was in a wheelchair, definitely able to pass as a surgical patient rather than a physic one. Meredith stood in the doorway in shock for a few seconds. He actually looked happy with the bitch and she could see the same smug smile on Rose's face whenever she thought she had Derek wrapped around her finger. Bouncing back from her state of shock Meredith stormed over to Roses chair and pushed her away from Derek, letting the chair thud loudly into the wall of his room. Derek gave her a confused look before she turned to Rose and shouted,

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BITCH!? YOU are not supposed to be around people until you have been signed off but a shit load of loony doctors!"

Rose just smirked at her and stayed quiet. This made Meredith even more fuming, it was as if a kettle was boiling inside her, ready to explode at any moment. She couldn't have Derek exposed to this monster.

"What is wrong with you Meredith?! She's my wife, I deserve to see her! And she's recovering from major abdominal surgery, she's not in physic!" shouted Derek.

Whipping her head back around to Derek she saw the hurt in his eyes by the way she had treated Rose. But he was under the impression of a lie and he didn't deserve that. She had to tell him, it was no or never.

"Derek, she's lying to you. When you coded she had a psychotic break. She took out a pocket knife and stabbed the nurses that were stopping her from getting to you. She's crazy. That's why I haven't given you specifics all this time." She said sadly. Even though it was the truth and she didn't want Derek to be with Rose, she hated hurting him, and she could see the fire in his eyes begin to fade.

"No, no…tha…that's not true," he stammered. It was like he was trying to hold onto the person he thought Rose was, which she couldn't blame him. He was in the state of mind he had been in the beginning of his relationship, which Meredith assumed had been good.

"No Derek. I know this is hard for you to understand, but your relationship with Rose practically ended years ago. You told me yourself. She changed. She was distant. Ask Tallulah, or anyone in your family if you don't believe me," she replied softly as she slowly walked towards his bed to take his hand.

"Don't you dare touch my husband!" Shouted Rose from her wheelchair at the end of the room. "Don't believe a word she's saying darling. I'm your wife, you can trust me."

There was a long pause. Meredith watched as Derek stared at Rose, like he was trying to look deep into her eyes and read her thoughts. He was considering his options and she hoped to God that he would choose the right one. She didn't want to see Rose hurt him again. After what felt like an hour but was in fact only a minute Derek pulled his hand away from Meredith and spoke,

"Ta..Tallulah is just a kid, I'm sure Rose was just really busy. She told me about her new worldwide make up line. I, I want to give this family another shot. A new beginning."

At these words, Meredith's heart literally broke in two. To hear the love of her live wanting to go with another women, it hurt her in ways she couldn't imagine. Her chest began to tighten, her breath was starting to become ragged and short and she could feel the pounding of her heart inside her chest vibrating throughout her body. 'No, no, no, no, this can't be happening' she thought to herself.

"No, no!" she muttered out loud as she fell forward onto Derek's bed. "No, no, no" she continued to whisper. She was having a panic attack. The love of her live didn't remember her and was choosing his crazy wife over her. She couldn't do this. This was too much.

Suddenly, she felt his warm hand wrap around her. Instantly she felt the tightness in her chest begin to loosen. She was in the safety of his arms. She wanted to stay like this forever.

"Shhh…don't worry, it will all be alright. We, we're just friends. That's what you said. We're not going to stop being friends just because I'm going to work on my marriage." He whispered softly to her as he rubbed his hand over her back in a comforting circular motion.

"I want to get to know you again. You have been so good to me this past week. You've been helping me more than you realize." He whispered in her ear as she pulled her up to his chest for a hug.

Meredith sat their, in his arms for about half and hour. Every time he pulled away slightly, she would burst into tears resulting in him pulling her back down to his chest. The whole time Rose sat there in the corner of the room glaring at them. Her hatred for Meredith Grey was growing by the day but she couldn't blow her cover. She couldn't show her pure thoughts of loathing towards Meredith while Derek was around. She now had a clean slate with him and she could go back to acting like the sweet innocent girl that he thought she was. She could now have him forever. She just had to get rid of Meredith Grey….

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